September 12th 2018
Oscar.
I kept my distance from Leilani after that day.
I still picked Gazzy up and dropped him off at home.
I directly dealt with her mom or Giovanni, not Leilani. I couldn't talk to her after that night last month. Tyla and I were doing great so I couldn't do anything to fuck that up.I got me and my girl back to the way things were.
I had just gotten back home this morning from dropping Gazzy off at Fernanda's, I walked into the backyard and was getting this package ready for a deal I was about to do in a few minutes.Sometimes I felt like shit for dealing the same drugs my mom was addicted to the made her abandon Cesar and I, but this is life and I got to do what i got to do to make ends meet.
I heard footsteps outside, I walked out and saw Ruby's little short ass walking away.
"Ay Fool!" I said, ruby turned around and looked at me, he was scared I could tell.
I waved him over and sat down two buckets for us to sit on.
I pulled out my pack of cigarettes, Ruby watched me so I decided to fuck with him and offered him one, "I'm trying to quit." He said laughing nervously
His face was shiny, I moved closer to get a good look at his face, it was early as hell and I'm still fucking tired. I can't say I didn't feel a little bad when the kid nervously groaned when i got close.
I know my breath ain't bad and shit I gargle."What's with the glitter?" I asked.
He laughed nervously. "Late night at the club, you know how Hynas be."
I started laughing.
Your little ass don't be in no club with no hyna's"I feel you homey my Sometimes Ruca Tyla wears that shit, be rubbing all up on me, can't get that crap off for days." I said, something in Ruby's eyes changed.
I know there was more he wanted to say.
I wonder if Leilani asked about me.
I was only getting part of the conversation because I was busy thinking about his cousin.
Him being here just made me miss Leilani.
I really wonder what her lips would have been like, I regret not kissing her.Sometimes I think I'm just telling myself I'm happy with Tyla because of our history.
I still haven't met her fucking family.
I don't know, I doubt she was even feeling me anyways, she never tried to reach out either.Ruby was looking at me expectantly.
"I mean you feeling me Spook? Spooky?" He said.Honestly i wasn't, I didn't hear half what he said something about me raising Cesar and him spreading his wings.
Or some shit.I'm about to lie my ass off.
"Yeah most def, you're opening my eyes homes!" I said.
He really wasn't.
I didn't want to be rude so I was really acting right now. It seemed to make him happy, so i rolled with it. Once Ruby left I got in my car for my run.I pulled out my phone and texted Cesar he was going to start running, Ruby coming here today reminded me of that, it also made me miss Leilani but I didn't want to think about that.
---
I pulled up and parked my car, I saw one of the homies walking up I quickly tossed the bag out, he caught it and walked off like nothing.I stayed parked to wait for him to drop the cash.
I opened my phone and I really was thinking about texting her, I missed her, she became my bestfriend.
I shouldn't have tried to kiss her.
Goddamnit why is this so complicated?A brown bag fell into my passenger seat of my car.
I grabbed it and checked it, eight rolls of cash.I started to drive off, I tried to keep my mind on anything but Leilani but I couldn't.
I did like twelve deals today and not once did I stop thinking about her, even when I got shot at the only thing that was on my mind was her.
-
I decided maybe I should talk to Leilani today when I drop off Gazzy."So how's your sister been?" I asked Gazzy as he played games on my phone.
"She has a boyfriend." He said.
When I heard him say that I almost crashed the fucking car. "What do you mean?" I asked.
"She have a boyfriend Ossie." He said again."What's his name?" I asked.
"It's Hettor." He said not looking up from my phone.
Hector.I was pissed, of all people Hector? I fucking told him to stay away from her, she said she didn't even like him but now they're together?
"What the fuck?" I yelled."BAD WORD!" Gazzy yelled at me.
"Sorry little man." I said.
He shook his head at me and went back to his game.
---This time I carried Gazzy into the house, Leilani was sitting at the kitchen counter with a big t shirt on she had on headphones as she was doing her homework.
I wanted to catch her attention, I wanted to talk to her, I wanted to kiss her anything I just wanted her.
I walked up to her fridge and took out a soda, I faced her directly as I drank it, her eyes shot it at me.
She pulled off her earphones.
"What's up?" She said casually.
What's up? I don't know Hector's dick?"Wassup?" I said.
She looked at me and smiled as she frowned.
"You got something you need to say?" She asked.I shook my head. "Nah, you know what I'm good, I have my girlfriend and everything my life is wonderful I have no regrets about shit." I blurted out. Her eyes opened wide in shock.
"Yeah well Hector and I are great." She said.
Okay might as well stab me.
"That's cool." I said.
She nodded her head.
We just stood there in silence staring at each other.She let out a deep sigh.
"Can we go back to being friends?" She asked.
"I miss you Oscar i don't want to go another month without you."I nodded my head. "I'm sorry, I miss you too, after that moment I freaked." I said.
"It was just an emotional night, it meant nothing." She said it, but her eyes said something else, or maybe I wanted them to.
"You're right, you happy with Hector?" I asked.
Please say no."Yeah." She smiled. "You happy with Tyla?"
Not really.
"Yeah, were good everything's good now it feels nice." I smiled back at her."Good." She said smiling widely.
"Good." I said back."What the fuck is going on in here?" Rosaria said as she walked into the kitchen, "Whatever it is you're saying is good, obviously isn't." She said as she raised an eyebrow at us as she unpacked the groceries.
Leilani and I looked at eachother again.
I just walked out without saying goodbye.
The tension was too much for me to handle.
----
End of chapter.
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