Never Just Assume

Chapter 7

I take a deep breath, it's now or never. "Courtney" I say, "I..." I look down at the ground and rub my neck. Courtney places her hand on my shoulder. "I don't know how to tell you this" I say. "It's ok Valentine, I get it" Courtney says. "You do" I asked confused. Courtney shakes her head yes and looks sad, "My feelings are totally one sided, you just see me as a friend." I stare at her wide eyed and mouth agape. I close and open my mouth a few times. "W-w-wait" I say, "What?" "I have a huge crush on you" Courtney says, "Ever since I first meet you in chemistry, I was instantly attracted to you."

My shocked expression turns into the goofiest grin you can imagine. She likes me. Courtney actually likes me. Courtney Moon likes me! She likes me! She likes me...aww shit, she likes me. Dammit. Now what do I do? Do I tell her I like her too or do I tell her I only see her as a friend? If I tell her I like her too, it will just complicate things even more and I will probably just end up hurting her and myself more than opposed to if I friendzone her. To tell or not to tell, that is the question. What to do, what to do. Wait is she talking?

"-Ruin our friendship" Courtney says. I blink a few times and ask, "What?" Courtney giggles and rolls her eyes. God, I love her giggle. "I said that it sucks that you don't feel the same way about me, but what can I do? You can't help it; the heart wants what the heart wants. You can't force someone to like you" Courtney says, "I still want you in my life, even if that is just as a friend. I just hope that this doesn't complicate or ruin our friendship." I do like you though Courtney and I want you. You don't realize how hard this is, I haven't felt this strong about anyone before.

Might as well get this over with, it is better this way. "I like you, I really like you Courtney" I say smiling. What are you doing Valentine? Courtney smiles and asks, "Really." It finally clicks in my mind what I just said. Oh shit, I'm an idiot. Yes you are. Shut up brain. "Yes really" I say, "But we can't be anything more than friends." "Oh..." Courtney says sadly looking at the ground. Now look what you did. Shut up brain. I feel like the worst human being to ever live. I sigh and say, "Courtney."

Courtney looks up and I see she is crying. I made her cry. I crushed her, got her hope up and then I crushed her...again. I am such an asshole. I feel like shit now. I hate seeing her cry. "Courtney" I say and pull her into a hug. She wraps her arms around my neck and holds onto me for dear life. She cries into my neck. I rub her back, "I'm sorry Courtney, I never meant to hurt you or make you cry, it was never my intention." Courtney pulls away, but still has her arms wrapped around my neck and I wipe the tears away with my thumb. "At least tell me why" Courtney says.

"Because I will be moving in a matter of months" I say, "I don't want to start something that I can't finish." Courtney nods her head and lays her head on my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her tightly. I love the feeling of her in my arms and the feeling of being held. I haven't been hugged since a few weeks before I came out. It's a nice feeling. "I'm sorry Courtney" I whisper, "I'm such a dick." "You're not" Courtney mumbles into my neck, "If anything this just makes me like you more. I just wish things were different." "Me to Courtney" I say, "Me too."

We stayed in that position just enjoying each other's company for what felt like days, but in reality, it was only fifteen minutes. After we separated, we decided that we didn't really want to walk around the mall anymore. I ended up taking Courtney home. I park the car and get out. I open her door and walk her to her door. She gives me a sad smile, "Bye Valentine." "Bye Courtney" I say giving her a sad smile, "I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you." Courtney puts her hand on my cheek and I lean into her touch.

"I know" Courtney says. She leans in and kisses my cheek. She walks into her house. I smile like a fool as I walk to my car. How I wish things were different. I get into my car and drive home. I park my car and walk into my house. "So, my major called me into his office today to talk" my dad says. I see him sitting at the table. I walk over and sit, "Um what did you talk about?" "We talked about some classified things" my dad says. "Ok..." I say, "What does that have to do with me?"

"How are you liking it in LA" my dad asks. "Um I like it so far" I answer completely confused, "Why do you ask?" "Because we have to move" my dad says. My heart stops beating, and my mouth hangs open. "We-what-but-you said" I stutter, "Why? We have only been here a few weeks." "You want to know why, I'll tell you why" my dad says, "Because I was called out on bullshit." "What are you-" I stop talking when I realize what my dad is talking about, "Well shit." Well its not like things can get any worse.

"Start packing" my dad says, "We move in a week." And I had to think that. "I can't wait til I graduate" I say. "Just pack your things" my dad says. I stand up, "I hate you. I hate that you can't accept me. I hate that you try to force me to be someone I'm not. I hate that you force me to move all the time. I hate you." My father stands up and gets in my face, "I'm doing this for your own good. You may not see it now, but one day you will, and you will be thanking me. Now go pack your shit."

I glare at my dad for a few seconds before I walk to my room. When I reach the stairs, I stop and turn around. "I wish it was mom that was still alive, she would understand unlike some assholes" I say. I see my dads jaw clench. "Fine I'll be the asshole, we are moving in three days" my dad says walking out of the house and slamming the door. I walk into my room and punch a wall. I hate my dad. I see a picture of me and my dad before our relationship went to shit. I grab it and throw it against the wall. When it hits the wall, glass goes everywhere.

I slide down the wall and put my head in my hands. I start to cry because I am so angry. My dad saw me and Courtney at the mall and heard our conversation. This is why I am a loner. This is why I don't make friends when I move. This is why I am single. I hate my dad. I wish my mom was still alive, she would understand. Great, now I have to tell my...I guess you could say friends. How am I going to tell Courtney, this is going to hurt her even more.

Thanks for reading.  Thanks for over two hundred reads on chapter one.  Thanks for over a hundred reads on chapter two, three, four, and five.  What did you think?  What do you think will happen next?  What do you want to happen next?  As always votes and comments are appreciated.