Death Of Me - Ryden (Finished)

31.

I laid on my bed sunken in my thoughts. Well all of them were connected with Ryan.

Ryan here, Ryan there.

So what is this feeling? What should I call it. I like Ryan a lot.

Actually he was the first person who touched me since I died... even though it were just hugs or little touches, they made me feel special and not lost anymore.

I wanna hold him, hug him, grab him, kiss him-

No you don't.

I don't wanna kiss him, no no no. I mean, I don't think I'm gay... And I think he also isn't.

I just wanna hug him long and smell his scent. This really special scent just he has, his significant smell. It's not a perfume or deodorant, no it's him and it smells like home a bit... Like I have to be near him, makes me feel alive.

Weird huh? He makes me, the dead boy, feel alive after years.

The door opened and Emily stood in the door frame.
Her eyes were sad, I know that.

She sat down on my bed like she always does and just looked on the ground.

"Are... are you there? Like... can you give me a signal or something like that, Brendon? God.... this is so complicated now and I'm scared", she mumbled beside me, looking out of the sky.

I slowly laid my hand over hers, which slightly moved by my touch.

"I miss you so damn much", she sobbed.

"I miss you too, Emily", I said, my eyes starting to water.

Then we heard a sudden noise coming from outside.

Emily flinched beside me, but I already knew what was coming, i just didn't thought of her appearance.

Tsuki was climbing up my window and made her way into the room by the open window.

She purred when she saw me and sat down beside emily.

"A cat", Emily said with wide eyes, "why the fuck is there a cat."

Tsuki cuddled up next to emily and purred.

She had me thinking about something, I have to do something.
I know, this probably wasnt the best idea, but I had to do it. Not for me, for Ryan.

I took a deep breath and asked tsuki:

"Will you help to me find me in the forest?"

******

Sorry, this chapter is shitty, but I have to write many class tests this week, so I probably won't have that much time to write anymore, I'll defniatly continue writing on this, but please be patient if it may takes more time then usual.

Love you, and hope you had a nice day

:)