Death Of Me - Ryden (Finished)

54.

I ran away.

Away from him.

Away from the boy I wanted to be close with, but I'm still running away.

I can't do this to him. This is wrong. Death already took me, while he is still in the hands of life.

What was I even thinking? That it would be great to build a connection with an alive human being?

Warm streams of liquor were running down my cheeks. I guess it were tears, many tears. Nobody would see or hear me anyway, so I started to screams when I stood in front of my house.

I stepped to the front door and sat down, leaning against the wooden door.

Now I was just silently sobbing. I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face on top of them. My back was going up and down, trembling.

How can a ghost feel so much pain?

I'm such an idiot, he was about to kiss me and I just walked away. I probably hurt him, just because I thought this wasn't right.

I just wanna run away, run away from all of this. What is this even called honestly? Just because I had to die, just because of this forest, just because of this one day.

Just because of Ryan.

Just because of one boy, causing me to feel all of this.

I wish I could turn back in time to go back to the days where nobody saw me, nobody heard me, nobody felt me. Where I was walking around the neighbourhood, watching people and just was alone, with no one who cared about me.

It would probably also be better for him. He could live his life, without a ghost by his side. I'm not worth it.

Now I was just a sobbing mess, sitting on the cold ground, but I didn't care. I just wished to be gone. My fingernails were digging into my trousers, already starting to hurt. My whole body was tensed from anger and sadness.

I saw a puddle next to me, that showed me my wretched reflection. I wasn't even realising that it rained a few days ago.

"I hate you", I sobbed with gritted teeth to my reflection.

"Who do you hate?", an unfamiliar voice asked, causing me to furrow my eyes.

I turned my head to the direction the voice came from and saw the woman we were searching for. She had her long, brown hair in a ponytail and she looked really pretty no matter how her hair looked like.

I just shrugged and wiped a few tears away.
She sat down next to me and didn't say anything at first. We just sat here for a few seconds. I didn't know the woman, but somehow she managed to calm me down just by being in her presence.

"I'm Rose by the way", she said, smiling at me.

"Do you know who I am, Rose?"

"I do, Brendon", she said.

*****

Have you all heard from that #saveyourinternet thing in EU? Because if it's true, I'm fucked, like honestly. Why.

Hope you have a nice day/night:)

<3