Death Of Me - Ryden (Finished)

53.

"And what now?", Ryan asked, "we just know that we have to talk to this mysterious woman, eventhough we don't have a clue where she could be."

"My mum called", Patrick said, "I need to come home. Dinner is ready."

Patrick smiled one time before walking to his home again. Emily also had to go, meaning that Ryan and I were alone again.

"Should we also go home?", I asked, but he shook his head.

"I don't wanna go there, we could just walk around and talk. The weather is nice today", he said, smiling.

"It really is", I said, stepping closer.

His honey coloured eyes were shining at mine and just now I realised, how much they changed me. His eyes were the most beautiful thing in this entire world, no one can deny that. And his smile was warm and always manages to make me feel alive.

Just one step forward, I thought.

Then our lips would be connected.

I would love to feel his thin lips on mine. The sparkle being released in my heart.

But I didn't.

Because what would happen then?
I'm dead, I can't fall in love with him. This isn't right. He's alive and should be with someone who also is. And I'm dead, I'm just holding him back from the things he could do and love.

He was leaning closer to my face, his eyes locked on my plumb lips. I felt his warm breath against my lips, before he smirked at me slightly.

I was petrified, this was wonderful, but my thoughts were holding me back.

This isn't fair for him.

Now he was closing his eyes, leaning forward.

I was waiting for this moment since the day I first saw him, and it's becoming true right now.
My thoughts were running wild.

What should I do?

But instead of listening to my heart and finally closing the gap between his, I pulled away, shaking my head.

"This isn't fair", I said, my voice breaking.

"What isn't fair? Are you alright?", he asked, laying his hand on my shoulder, but I shove it away.

"No, go home, Ryan!", I said, "This isn't right."

And with that said I turned around and ran home.

He's alive and I'm dead.

How could I ever think this was a good idea?

****