Death Of Me - Ryden (Finished)

59.

"And what are we going to do now?", he asked.

"I don't know", I mumbled.

"I also don't", he said looking cold into my eyes. I could tell he was hurt just by the way he said it.

"Ryan I'm s-"

"Sometimes it's better not to say sorry too often. I heard the first time you said it, you know?", he said, pressing his lips together.

"You know I didn't want to hurt you!", I said, moving closer to him.

"Then why did you?", he yelled, his voice breaking.

I flinched aside by his loud voice and looked on the ground.

"You know, I could've understood that you didn't want to kiss me, we could've talked about it. I'm not even mad at that", he said, "I'm mad at the fact that you ran away from me and ignored me! Don't tell me that you thought I haven't noticed the moment where you just walked away from me, just when you saw me coming. I didn't react, but I noticed it."

"I was scared, ok!", I yelled back.

"Don't you think I was?! I was so fucking scared, but I thought it's gonna be alright, because its you. And I trusted you."

He trusted me.

He trusted me.

The fact that he used he past tense broke my heart.

"You can trust me", I mumbled, my voice quiet as a mouse.

"How can I know that?", he said with a low voice full of disappointment.

"You just have to believe me", I said laying my hand over his.

"I can't risk believing you", he said, pulling his hand under mine away, "I think it's better for you to go now."

"Don't you wanna come and help me finding out what's with Mrs. Jensen and her father?", I asked, a glim of hope rising in myself.

"So that you can run away again, when something you're scared of happens?", he asked, tears starting to fill his eyes.

I didn't know how to answer, my bottom lip started to tremble, because I tried not to start crying in front of him.

Without anything else said, I climbed out of the window and made my way home again.

Now I couldn't hold my tears anymore, they were literally streaming down my face like waterfalls.

I didn't look up, I just went straight home.

If I would've looked up I may would have noticed Mrs. Jensen watching me carefully with her cat...

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