Father? (Frerard)

Eleven - falling deeper

today i am generous
enjoy 

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I've never tried fishing. So when Gerard asked me to come fishing with him for the weekend I was clueless as to what I was even supposed to do. It took me exactly two hours to figure out what Gerard meant by fishing though.

Jamia was glad I left the house for something else than work and I was glad I had an excuse to be alone with Gerard for two whole days. He told me what to pack since I knew nothing about fishing, all I knew was that I needed rubber boots and a fishing rod, neither of those did I have at home of course.

"You pack only warm clothes and I'll take care of the rest okay?" He whispered the night he asked me to leave with him for the weekend. We kissed briefly and then we parted to go to sleep.

Saturday morning and we left with a car full of things we wouldn't actually need in the end. A huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders as soon as I couldn't see our house anymore. I was so happy, alone with Gerard, not having to worry if someone will see us. It was perfect.

It took us about an hour and a half to get to what seemed like a deserted place but was, in fact, a huge lot with a fishpond. Hidden behind fern and reed was a cozy cabin. I was mesmerized by the scenery. It was still early in the morning, around 7:30ish and above the water was a thick mist adding to the eerie atmosphere. Shivers ran down my spine, not only because I was cold.

"Come on, let's warm up inside." Gerard nudged me and walked past me holding our bags. I quickly caught up to him and entered the cabin.

We lit up the fireplace and I took a look around. The place was decorated just as you would expect from a little cabin in the middle of nowhere. There were two couches and two armchairs next to the fire, behind one of the couches there was a staircase, leading to what I assumed to be a bedroom of some sort. The kitchen, if you could call it that, was on the left to the door. It was basically just a few drawers and a stove.

"How does one find a place like this?" I asked as I was looking around. Gerard just smiled and shrugged.

"It belonged to my father. His father, my grandpa, used to own the woods and fields around here. They would come here all the time and spend the weekend but then things went to shit and my grandpa owed a lot of money, so my dad pressured grandpa to make him the owner before they took it from them too." Gerard told me. I nodded.

"You never talk about your family." I pointed out. Gerard scoffed and sat down on the couch, taking off his jacket, the place was warm enough by that point.

"There's nothing much to tell. Basically, my mom's an alcoholic. My dad died when I was 16 and my brother refuses to talk to any of us. He never said why, but I bet it's because of our mother. You see, she started drinking after dad died and he was just a kid, going through puberty, just starting high school and he needed her the most, but she was drunk all the time. Then I left for college and he sees it as if I left him alone with the burden of having a drunk mother and the house all on his shoulders." Gerard stared at the flames as he talked about his family.

"I'm sorry." I said and sat down next to him.

"It's okay. I just don't like to talk about it because it sounds depressing and...I don't know." He shook his head and smiled at me. I smiled back and kissed him.

He helped me take off my jacket and pulled me on his lap. He kissed me back softly and then moved his head to kiss my neck. I was enjoying it maybe too much and surprised both of us when I moaned quietly. It was clear to me at that moment that no fishing was happening that day. He gave me a look that said everything that needed to be said and next thing I remember is taking off our clothes and kissing each other as if we wanted to suck the souls out of each other.

"I don't really know what to do." I admitted and we both laughed.

"That's okay, I'll guide you." Gerard kissed me and went to dig around in his bag. He gave me a condom and a bottle of lube. "I think it will be better for both of us if you top today." He said meekly. I nodded, all I knew about bottoming is that it hurts and I wanted to enjoy this as much as possible, and since he's bottomed a few times before, he knew how to relax, or so he told me.

He lied down and pulled me on top of him. We kissed and touched just like other times but then he pushed the bottle of lube in my hand. I got nervous for just a few moments until I looked him in the eyes and saw that whatever we decided to do or not to do, was okay. With both of us. I could trust him and vice versa and my nervosity left as quickly as it came.

He instructed me to pour the liquid over my fingers and then slowly start massaging his opening. At first, I was afraid to touch him there properly, fearing I'd hurt him, but then he guided my hand and I got the hang of things. His breathing got deeper as I continued to move my fingers. We started kissing again and I was enjoying every little noise he made.

Just when I thought I was getting better at what I was doing to him, he let out a loud noise, almost a growl. His nails dug into my skin and I stopped what I was doing immediately.

"Did I hurt you?" I stuttered, completely freaked out.

"Au contraire, belle." He laughed and encouraged me to repeat what I had done. When he explained what I just did to him, I just shook my head in amusement. I really had a lot to learn. Gerard then told me he was ready and that was the third time I got really nervous that morning.

"Just look at me. You are not going to hurt me, just go slow and I'll tell you if anything, alright?" He assured me and I did as he told me. I watched his face. His expression changed from minor discomfort to a pure joy. His eyes rolled back as I started moving and I just couldn't get enough of him.

Everything was just so different, the spots I touched on and in him were so much different from Jamia's body and how he reacted to my touch was just magnificent. I wanted to prolong that moment as much as I could, but it was over all too soon. I started laughing when I laid down next to him on the ground. Gerard looked at me questioningly.

"I never thought sex could be that good." I shook my head, still smiling from ear to ear.

"Yeah, you can imagine how great it was for a fifteen-year-old boy." He joked.

"But hey, at least you didn't knock a girl up." And with that one sentence, I felt awful again.

We both went quiet and it was obvious we were thinking the same thing. I got up and got dressed while he put on his underwear. I threw the jacket over my shoulders and went for the door.

"Frank, wait." He called after me but I needed to get out of that cabin.

I walked around the fishpond and stood by the water, just watching the fish swim around in the cold water. I breathed in the fresh air and felt like crying. Gerard respected that I wanted to be alone and gave me a moment to be by myself but then he joined me and I sighed and held his hand. We watched the fish together and I knew he wanted to say something but there was nothing we could have said or done to take back the past few weeks.

"She's gonna be so mad." I said and Gerard let out a shaky breath. I looked at him and noticed he was crying.

"I'm sorry, it's all my fault. I didn't want to ruin your family. I wish I had never met her, she could have been just fine."

"You know, I think things that are supposed to happen, will happen regardless. I could have met someone else and she would be mad at me anyway. It's just unfortunate that it's you who captured my heart." I smiled at him sadly. I was coming to terms with the consequences of my selfish actions and standing there, holding Gerard's hand eased my mind because I knew I wasn't alone in this.

"You're just perfect, aren't you." He chuckled with tears still running down his face. I shrugged and after we shared a few kisses by the fishpond, we returned inside to make some breakfast, because we were starving.

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happy halloween everyone

what costume will you wear this year?

-L