Daily Interactions

Oxygen

The feeling of drowning overwhelms him as responsibilities and expectations pile up higher and higher on him. From family, colleagues, bosses, friends and most of all, from himself. That amplified by the feeling that he may be an up and rising star beloved by many but so utterly alone. Soul crushing alone.

He felt like he couldn't breathe, gasping and trying to gulp down as much oxygen as he can't.

His phone rang once, twice and thrice before he took any notice of it. When he finally manage to muster enough energy to reach out for it, it fell silent in the dark room.

Singto gave a soft chuckle to himself as he leaned back against the cold balcony door glass, eyes semi closed and his breath still not quite there.

A loud knock sounded at his door, at first slowly like a drum beat and soon accompanied by curses and shouts for his name. He jerked up, recognition on his face at that voice. He stumbled crawled from his spot towards the door.

"What the fuck?!"

Krist's pale face seemed even paler than before, his brow curved in a frown. Krist reached out and pulled Singto close to him, engulfing him in a tight warm embrace, muttering soft nonsense which Singto couldn't hear.

Singto's chilled body warmed, not just physically but he felt the frozen ice in his chest started to melt, trickling water down.

Why do I feel this way?

Both fell silent as their breaths caressed each other's hair. Finally Krist pulled away and their eyes met each other's head on.

Singto backed into his room, a silent invitation to the other man. He flicked the light switch on, chasing away the shadows that lingered at the corners.

Before he could turn around to face Krist again, he was enveloped by Krist's warm body.

"Kit.."
"Don't. Let me speak first"

Singto fell silent, acquesing to the younger's request. After a few false starts and a lot of fidgeting, the other finally began.

"Do you know how fucking scared I was? Looking across and seeing you in the dark like this and you didn't answer my calls either. I thought you had given up on life. You cannot leave me behind like this. There are far too many things I haven't told you"

In an almost strange situation of life mimicking art, Krist's apartment is situated almost right across from Singto's, not unlike in the very popular drama series that they had both acted in and shot them to stardom.

The ice melted a little more when Singto hear the amount of concern in the other's voice. This man had been by his side through this journey and always reaching out to him, trying to chisel down the walls that he had built to keep himself safe in this insanity.

He startled, feeling warm liquid on his neck, tears that Krist can't help but shed. He tried to turn around but the other wouldn't let him. Krist had always wore his heart on his sleeve, his emotions evident on his face, almost childlike.

"You are far too important to me, more than you know"

Singto sighed a little.

"I am fine"

The glaring lie sat in the room like a giant elephant. He could almost feel the glare from the other aimed at his neck.

"You don't have to be strong in front of me"

Somehow, that one sentence broke Singto. How often had he held on tough, strong, be the rock for everyone around him. When had he felt so fucking weary of everything and still need to put up a facade?

He didn't know when he crumbled to the floor, when Krist held him in his arms, when silent tears became ugly heart wrenching sobs, tears for his mother whom he missed, the day post finding out about her disease was the day that he officially had to be an adult for the family, tears for his father who couldn't have the attention of his only son who is too busy with life, tears for his own expectations for himself, that he ask too much of himself and stretching himself too thin, and finally just tears that he should have just have let go long time ago.

"I'm always here for you, for as long as you want me"

He felt that he can finally breathe as he fell asleep in exhaustion in the arms of this man who had unawaringly brought sunshine and oxygen into his life that he much needed.