Daily Interactions

Try

He know that the other is tired, from juggling rehearsals, interviews, photoshoots, school, assignments and also him. He know that it is unfair but he can't stop that feeling growing inside him, the unease spreading through his skin and tightening his chest.

His eyes slide up to the clock on the wall of the small kitchen yet again and another minute had barely pass.

Isn't it weird how when you desperately want time to pass and it just crawls slower than a slug but when you wish for time to stop, it speeds past you faster than a cheetah, leaving you flabbergasted at the dust left in its wake.

He sighs yet again as he slump down on the bar stool at the breakfast table where he lean his face in the cradle of his left arm. His right hand move to his phone before a finger tap on the screen of his phone, the light flaring to illuminate his down turn lips as he confirmed that there is no messages still.

Again, another sigh as he close his eyes, pushing the phone away petulantly. Silence surrounds him, ironically too loud in his mind. Pulling his phone back to his line of sight, he launch the music player app, letting the soft music fill the empty room.

I keep trying, I cant fake this anymore

He recalled how they started. After one of the many interviews, one which again concentrated on what Singto had said about potentially studying overseas, about long distance relationships, they found themselves seated next to each other in the cafe, waiting for their managers to bring them to the next venue. Both of them were deep in thoughts about the interview that just happened, the questions and answers felt too close to their inner fears and to heart.

"Should we just try anyway?"

That soft question posed by Singto was not answered right away by him. The attraction between them is undeniable, it is evident to everyone surrounding them. They have both resisted on claims of society, of family, of uncertainties that lies ahead of them. But somehow, they still circle back to each other at the end of the day. And that was what made him say "Yes". Whatever future he thinks of having, it always go back to this man in front of him. This man is always a fixture in it regardless of which form.

You can have what's left, You can have what's left

The issues and fears he had in the beginning did not disappear. But instead, he swallowed them down, lock them away safely in his heart. He is aware that the older will feel guilty that he is feeling this way, lonely and always uncertain. The older will surely blame himself for not giving enough, not paying enough attention to him, not being enough and the vicious cycle will continue as they try again and again and falling back to the cycle. Nothing will change except for this additional scar left on their hearts.

This love is war, so what are we fighting for?

The front door opened and a soft voice called for him. Soon a pair of arms embraced him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head, the older's warmth enveloping him. He swallowed it in yet again, savoring this moment. He resolved then that to see this through to the end, be it bitter or sweet.

If time rewinds we play pretend
We could have it back again