Restrain Me #WATTYS2019

-where would we be now-

June 2 2007

I laid in bed, looking up at the glow in the dark stars I had put up a few months before. I couldn't stop thinking about Colson fucking Baker. I couldn't stop my mind from reliving the night of my birthday, the night I became addicted to the drug Colson possessed. I groaned as I rolled away from the window Colson always snuck in when he would be upset or tempted to do something stupid. He never said what the stupid thing was, but I knew it was drug related. He screamed drug addict, but I would never say that to his face. I laid on my side, the images of Colson intruding my brain. The way his tattooed chest glistened with sweat in that hotel room lit only with green Christmas lights. The way his hands gripped all the right places in all the right ways. I don't know why I was so fixated on this Wild Boy that moved here and swept everyone off their feet in a mix of ways. I mean Jackson had texted me a few times since the party where we all bumped into each other and a year ago I would have jumped to have someone like him care about me. But now, I only want that tattooed kid to love me like I love him. I closed my eyes as I tried to finally go to slee, seeing as it was three in the morning and I had yet to sleep. I felt my body start to relax into the bed, just as my window opened. Colson's window. I sat up straight and looked to the window to see the handsome Wild Boy crawling into my room.

"Did I wake you Princess?" His voice was quiet, as not to wake my mom in the other room, but laced with concern. I shook my head as I sat up, my back against my bedpost.

"What's wrong, come here love." I whispered softly as I pulled the blankets back to let him in. All the dirty thoughts had gone back to their hiding places as the broken man crawled into bed beside me. Wrapping his arms around my waist, laying his head in my lap. "Oh love what's going on?" I felt my worry level rising as I felt wet spots on my lap. I rubbed my hands softly down his back, as he began to softly sob in my lap. I began to sing Where Would We Be Now by Good Charlotte softly, relaxing against my headboard.

"Where would we be now baby, If we found each other first" I sang softly as Colson turned his head to look at me.

"Amelia-" he stopped himself as he just stared up at me, I kept singing softly as his eyes moved from my eyes to my lips, his whole attention on me. I closed my eyes slowly as I rubbed my hands along his upper back, a small smile forming on Colson's tear stained face. "Can I tell you something?" He asked softly, stopping me from singing. I looked down at his beautiful eyes, nodding softly. "I did it again. That- ya know- stupid thing I do." He stuttered slightly as he averted his eyes from mine. "Uh- heroine- actually." My heart stopped. No, Colson no. I felt my body grip his tightly to me.

"Colson that shit can kill you." I breathed out seeing him close his eyes softly.

"I was going to do a shit ton, because I couldn't stop thinking about- about- about you and when I started doing it I couldn't stop hearing you cry for me to stop." I felt tears fall down my cheeks as he spoke. "Woman I think you saved me." He whispered softly as he tightened his grip on my waist.

"So you came here?" I asked softly as I held him tightly.

"I had to. I had to see you." He paused as he pulled himself off me, making me sit up straight to look at him. "I just- I couldn't- I had to tell you. I felt like you- you knew already." I did Colson, I did. "And I just had to go somewhere that I felt-" he stopped as he looked deep into my eyes.

"Safe." I whispered as he smiled softly, leaning in and pecking my lips softly.

"Exactly Princess. Safe." He kissed me again, longer this time as his large hands cupped my cheeks. He pulled back, staring deep into my eyes. "Amelia, if I didn't have you by my side I would-" he stopped, and I didn't dare try to finish his sentence, even though I knew what he wanted to say. "So please don't never leave me." I felt my heart clench at his words. I could never leave my Wild Boy.