Missed My Chance

Chapter 39

A/N: I really recommend listening to the song on the side!

I wake up, instantly smelling the wafting sea breezed air full of salt mixed in of course with the mouth watering smell of pancakes cooking on the stove. Just like my hunters hearing I've got a hounds sense of smell, I wonder what my senses would be like when I'm pregnant....wait!

Hold the phone....

Take a picture....

What?

What did I just say?

When I get pregnant? I specifically remember that I never wanted children but yet being with Peeta here in district four, for almost three months has kind of, maybe, slightly changed my mind. Ok. Like a lot. I know I sound like the type of clingy, stereotypical girlfriend but it really has opened my eyes a lot.

I know what your probably thinking. You're thinking, 'How did you guys even get together anyway?' Well there's good and bad news for you. We didn't. Tar dar! It just kind of happened. We both initiated it and now that's where I am constantly, lying and cuddling in his arms. We don't dwell on the fact that we broke up due to a mis-communication. Instead we cherish the fact that we have come to the point in our lives that we are at now.

At this moment I'm packing my suitcase filled with my most precious belongings. Peeta and I were going through the 'long distance relationship' thing up until four months ago when Peeta made the sacrifice to come and live here. Just like he did I will do the same. I'm going back to district twelve with Peeta by my side dreading the trip itself as it is not a happy occasion indeed.

"Are you ready to go Katniss?" Peeta asks kindly from the doorway.

I take a deep breath looking and memorizing the room and house I had called for four and a half years now. My room seems so bare and so dull. The light appears to be gone and the happy setting seems to be replaced by the pale bed sheets and picture-less walls that are left in the confinement. Taking in a short breath and turning on my heal to face Peeta I tell him the one word that's been hanging at my lips ever since I suggested this.

"Always."

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He is now my greatest support system. I have Peeta now yet, my greatest hope is that I will continue to have him by my side until the wind blows my ashes from the earth. I no longer have anything by hope for my.....our* future and I do hope he stays by me this time.

I clutch the soft porous felt that is fixated against my wet, stained cheek. Peeta smooths my auburn locks away from my line of vision is his free hand, his right arm tightly wrapped around my waist.

A small number of people have gathered today for this mourning event. If she were still breathing the earths air she would approve of the minimal crowd. She never quite like a fixated amount of attention on her anyway. 

The swamp of black fabric drowns out every positive thought I could conjure, as I come to terms with the departure of Sae. I must admit, I am in denial because if I accept it she will be fully gone. Fully gone, just like everyone else I have come to know in this life but at the back of my twisted mind, I know it is for the best. Sae was suffering so much already.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the long and fruitful life of Sae: A mother, grandmother and a wife. Regretfully her body is returned to the dirt but her spirit may forever live on through the people she has impacted with her experiences in life. A very strong woman she was indeed to overcome life's challenges but her suffering has ended now. May she rest in peace. The pastor speaks gracefully.