Don't Forget (Old Version)

Red and Barney

(Should've done this perspective in the actual story.....)

     Is it weird to feel like the side character of your own life? Blue seems to agree with me, but no one else really cares. Why do I feel left out? I'm always in control of my own choices, why am I feeling this way now? I feel this way because no matter what happens, I'm still a freak! The world should've burned for the way it treats me! I hate the way they look at me, it's scary. Their attention unnerves me. We could all be friends if they got to know me! But meeting all of them would take so long, and that'd be so much socializing.... I'd rather just stay where I am and ignore the world.

It wasn't always like this. There was only three at that point. I never knew my real name, I only have the ones that he gave me. I don't think anyone really cared, except him. Yellow remembers the orphanage a lot more than I do. His face is blurry to me....... but I remember how he loved the color purple. And how he always talked about dinosaurs. His name was Barney. He was my friend, my companion, he abandoned me, I miss him, did he ever really care?

Red. Barney called me Red. Then he named Yellow and Blue, the primary colors. Other ones appeared later, and Barney liked to name them after colors. It made me feel like I mattered. Like all of me mattered. All the other kids thought I was weird, but Barney treated me just the same. I can remember the accent that he picked up from one of the people working there. It sounded stupid. I think it was cute how he copied the worker. Was he upset when I laughed? I didn't mean it. Of course I did, it has way too many s sounds.

I don't think the adults realized there was something wrong with me. Nothing is wrong with me! I have all these different me's in my head. I feel like it'd be really lonely if it was just me. People in white coats came to the orphanage, once. They were there to make sure everyone is healthy. They're the ones who found out that Barney was blind in one eye. Then it was my turn. I didn't want them to touch me! They scared me! I told them that, and they were confused about my rage and fear existing at the same time. They started asking questions. I rarely answered them. I answered about every other question. I just glared.

     Then they asked me a really weird question. "Who am I speaking to?". I paused at that. What were that asking me? I am talking to them. "I am, Red. Who else would be speaking to you? No, wait, you don't deserve an answer for poking me so much! I'm sorry that Purple doesn't like you, he doesn't mean it.
P-Please just leave me alone....", I rambled on. I couldn't just stop talking, I needed to say my full answer even if it's long. I'll be mad if you cut me off. Maybe I should've only said one thing. I remember the look that they gave me...... it's the one that everyone except Barney gives me. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!

They wanted to take me away. They think I'm weird because of how I think in different ways at the same time. It's not my fault! How was I suppose to know that this isn't normal? I've always been this way. The people took my away. Hothead took me away from my home, and away from Barney. That trailer didn't even try to help me! He didn't know they were taking me until I was already gone.

It was so..... white, where they took me. Everything was bland and color less. They said that they were going to make me better, but what's even wrong with me in the first place? It was weird being the youngest in that place. They were all adults, but I was only ten. I hated it. I hated everything about the asylum. That's what it was called. All the group session 'talks'. All of the 'training' and 'testing'.

But the pills were the worst. They made me take them every for the time that I was trapped in that place. After a few weeks, I just woke up one day. And it was dead silence. I couldn't hear myself. I do remember screaming. I can't just be Red. I'm more then Red. I was all gone. Where did I go. I'm screaming, tearing at my hair as white blurs rich around me. They pull my hands away from my face. I scratch and claw at their arms as they try to shut me up. Thick cloth is tied around my mouth, muffling my screaming. I can't hear! Why can't I hear!? The silence deafens me! I can't stand being alone! Let me go!