Blurred Dreams

If I Try To Be

If I Try To Be

One thing was for sure
That I wasn’t like before
Who would care about nothing
Who would believe anything

But today, I want to go back
To that very place I once went
To that paradise
I believe I’ve spent

Because I am too heart broken
In living this world alone
Without anyone to be with
Where light vaguely shone

That was where I think
My happiness would rise again
Where my solitude would be replaced
From now until then

But how could you hinder me
To that place I called home,
Where my life struggled to sustain
From being gone?

What crime have I committed
For I to be forbidden
By you from entering
That glorious dimension?

My sorrows, you wished
To collect inside your hands,
For a “sorry” that couldn’t be expressed
By the price of your demands.

But what more could I do,
When you couldn’t accept my thoughts?
When you filled me with regrets
Of payment for your lots?

If I try to be someone else,
Would you forget about these faults?
But I know if I be me instead,
Forgiveness shan’t ever come across your thoughts.

*Not a dream, but a feeling that has been bothering me for quite a while...-AN