Free-Falling

33

Gavin POV

"You're such a dope." I told myself as I lay in bed that night, alone by myself.

It was times like these where I wish I had someone to just hug, Dan maybe? Maybe Millie. But I didn't because I told myself I would be okay.

It was dumb to get emotional over something like this. Michael had a life aside from work and aside from me. And he now has Lindsey to hang out with.

Just the way he laughed with her and the way she laughed back, it all made me feel uneasy and a bit quirky.

Only Barbara knows how I feel about the whole Lindsey thing which was good. I didn't need anyone thinking I hated Lindsey or anything.

I mean I don't have anything against Lindsey. When I first met her she didn't seem bad and I'm not saying she is bad at all. But I just didn't like the image of Michael and her together.

"Uahhhh!" I said a bit louder than I should have. I rolled over and stared at the ceiling as the small fan attached to it moved around in circles.

Michael is Michael just like Geoff and everyone in the world. They have their own opinions on things.

But at this exact moment as I lay staring aimlessly at the ceiling, it felt as if my opinions didn't matter at all.

The moment I saw the chair Geoff pulled up I just stopped. What else was I going to do?

Barge over there and take the seat myself?

I wonder if this is how Ray felt toward Michael when I got hired.

Although they were the original two lads, they didn't seem to be as close as I felt I should be to Michael.

It's just I can't help the way I feel about this situation. If you put all of the events with Lindsey in order, and give the story to a stranger, they would think the British dude was acting like a kid.

Just a kid, and I would believe him or her.

Suddenly I felt myself smiling and I even chuckled a bit.

"You're acting like a love struck kid in middle school." I said out loud.

My hand rose and I began to rub the side of my face.

At that exact moment my phone let the annoying ding go off signaling a notification.

The sound brought me back to reality and I unplugged my small phone from the outlet next to my bed.

Yeah I had a lot of followers but I see what each and every one of them tweets me.

I entered my small pass code and tapped the Twitter icon.

I started to scroll through all of my latest notifications when a Tweet from Dan showed up.

I smiled as I tapped on the image he posted with it and it was out recent conversation about how much he loved and missed me.

I felt myself chuckle as I basically reread all of the "I love you"s and "I miss you"s.

Honestly with all due respect I did miss Dan and I can use the word love in this reference. I don't use the word love often but for Dan I could.

Dan was always there for me and I've never been away from him this long actually.

I decided to Tweet him back.

@GavinFree

@DanielGruchy I love you too I can't wait to come home

These late night texts and even the conversations over Twitter, they all remind me that I'm actually in America.

I'm away from England and I probably won't be coming back anytime soon.

Almost instantly my phone vibrated and I got a notification about Michael Tweeting something.

Tapping here and there I found myself looking at a Tweet from Michael about Lindsey.

I didn't even bother to finish my conversation on Twitter before I turned my phone off and threw it across the room.

"God damn it." I whispered to myself.

I read the three words and I didn't care about the rest of the Tweet at all.

"I like you." I said mocking Michael's voice.

I didn't care if my phone was broken or not because it didn't matter.

At the moment my heart was slowly breaking and I wasn't sure why.

All I know is that I just can't stand Lindsey with Michael and it hurts.

It honestly hurts. Michael has touched a place in my heart that I didn't even know I had.

He reached a special place in my heart and it was slowly breaking. I felt as if I was being replaced.

My best friend was leaving my side.

And for someone he met today.

Yeah I met Michael a few days ago, almost a week. But he touched that part of my heart within a number of days.

And it's all going to go to waste.

I turned to my side as I looked out the window.

I just didn't know anymore. I sound like a kid again but I can't help the way I feel about Lindsey.

I just can't let this go at all.

I just can't..

I was watching the trees sway back and forth slightly as my phone continued to vibrate behind me.

That's when I put my pillow over my head and just sat there.

By myself in the dark thinking of the only person I could.

Michael was on my mind 24/7 and I didn't know why.

"Maybe I'll just get a cat and name it Micool." I whispered,"Maybe he'll love me like I love him."

I opened my eyes a bit as I tried to adjust to what I had said.

Did I just say love?

There's no way I can love Michael. I loved him as a best friend yeah, but it doesn't cope to what I am feeling right about now.

It just doesn't make any sense...