Falling for the second time

Part 10

Natasha's pov.

N: Steve are you okay?! Please answer me?!

I started sobbing and shaking from stress, but then...as I heard that name..I froze.

S: Where is Bucky? Natasha... Where is Bucky?!

N: He...

The fact that he remembered everything made my heart work faster and I was losing my mind. I couldn't speak. At this point I didn't think why he isn't asking about us, about our daughter.

S: I remembered him. The first thing I remember is... Ultron, Sokovia, but firstly we were at Clint's house.. Than our mission in Vienna... Berlin, then we went together in Wakanda. It was just me and Bucky. And..And... I don't remember what happened next. Natasha where is he? We saw him on TV, they thought that he put the explosive. I know he's alive, where is he?

He said this very fast, still delusional and he sounded hopefully, but since I wasn't answering right away. He changed his face to more concerned, serious one.

N: Barnes is dead. He was on a mission with T'Challa, during that time you were in coma. He got shot. They couldn't save him...

I said all in one breath and as emotionless as I could. Beacuse I had to hold my tears. I didn't want to cry when it's all my fault. And I wasn't going to show my fear, but I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. My hands were still shaking.

He was clearly very devastated, yet he didn't say a word. He was covering his head with his arms and he kneeled on the sand this whole time. To me it looked like eternity. I was waiting for his response, but I got nothing.

Than he got back standing tall in front of me, he breathe out heavily and stepped back.

S: Why didn't you tell me?

His eyes showed so much hate and his tone was something I have never heard before.

N: It was too much burden for you.

Now I answered right away and very emotionally, even though I never wanted to show my vulnerability.

S: You can't decide for that! How can you not tell me?! Who do you think you are?! You don't have any rights!

Now he yelled at me. I saw a lot of anger in his eyes. His hands were formed in punch, his face was all red.

S: He was the only one left and he died! I never even went to his grave...Beacuse of you! You didn't let me grieve for him! He deserved more respect!

His words felt like someone had just ripped my heart out of my chest. All of this looked so unrealistic to me. At some moments I closed my eyes and wished it was all a bad dream, but when I would open them... I was still seeing furiously broken Steve.

S: I don't deserve this! Do I?!

N: Steve...please...try to..

I spoke quietly, and he yelled.

S: I can't believe you lied to me! And I... trusted you.

N: I'm sorry. I was worried about you.

He shaked his head in negative. Than looked up at me and made a dissapointed face.

S: No you weren't!

N: Steve I couldn't look you in the eyes and tell you that you lost your friend. It was hard for me too.

S: Of course. It's easier for a spy to lie.

This was even worse. I wish I could escape from here now. I couldn't stand his words. I lost Steve's love before, now I lost his trust too.

N: I'm sorry.

S: Go home, Rose might wake up.

N: Steve?

S: Go!

N: Please don't be mad at me. I can't stay away from you... Steve..?

S: I don't want to talk to you Natasha! Just leave me alone before...!

He didn't finish the sentence, just turned and started walking away from me. I watched and called after him till he disappeared in the dark.

He just left the beach and I couldn't run after him. Beacuse I was two tears away from telling him the whole truth. I wanted to make it better, but... How am I gonna make it up to him? If I tell him the truth right now he'll hate me forever. He needs some time till his anger settles.

I waited for him the next day, but he didn't show up. The second day after he left I didn't even wanted him to forgive me I just wanted him here, with me. The third day I called Tony and explained everything, I asked him to come here and find Steve and of course he did without problems, but Steve didn't want to come home. Tony said he was okay in some other house in the middle of the forest. Tony stayed with me for three days, untill he had to leave. And now after a week I feel miserable and more volnrable than ever. I'm thinking about searching for Steve by myself even though there aren't any chances I'll find him on this huge island.

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Heyyy. I'm still alive, just been so busy lately. How will they meet again, or will they meet again? Do give your reviews.