What Friends Are For

Esme's Revenge

Lily was examining the window and trying her best to figure out where she was when the door opened with a loud bang. Lily gave the opener a glance and smiled sarcastically at Esme.

"Mikä tuo ihastuttavan kreivit tämän vankilaan?" Lily asked in Finnish. Fiona, who was stationed at the door behind her, had a laughing fit she cleverly disguised as coughing. Lily gave her a genuine smile when she was done. Esme looked bewildered and didn't even realize Lily had complimented and insulted her by asking 'what brings the lovely countess to this prison of mine.' Neither cared to translate for her, so she just grew angry at both of them.

"You dare laugh at me triangle eyes?"

"Actually, I was coughing. Sometimes they sound similar."

"I don't need a lecture about fits of coughing and laughing!"

"Looks like you do." Lily muttered.

"You can keep your mouth shut!"

"Why? You need me alive to get to the fortune my parents left me before Olaf killed them. Or was that you?"

"You got here playing detective, don't keep it up. Besides, you should be more worried about what will happen when we don't need you anymore."

"Oh really? I'm not playing detective Esme. I'm Detective Shade, like my father."

"You don't know much about your father then, do you?"

"Then Lily Shade, P. I. like my mother." Esme slapped her across the face in a raged response.

"Your parents were not detectives. They where both--"

"Decent people!" Lily shouted in anger. "I won't have the likes of you ruining my memories of my family!"

Esme saw her chance and grabbed Lily's hair. Then, fiendishly whispering, "This is what you get for ruining my life," shaved off Lily's hair until her head looked like a lumpy potato. Esme laughed in evil triumph and left the room, Fiona saying a small "Oh my," in the process. Lily turned to face Fiona, thinking fast.

"Is she done with her 'torture'. I don't think I can handle much more of the pain." Fiona smiled, suppressing laughter. Every single word of Lily's dripped with sarcasm.

"Then you're going to have to sound more convincing than that. I'm sorry about your parents. Mine are dead too. My stepfather is missing somewhere at sea and my brother Fernald lost both his hands." They shook hands, giving each other a smile. "I'm Fiona Widdershins. I'm a Mycologist. That means I--"

"Study mushrooms. I read a book about the study of Mycology in my aunt's library. I'm Lily Shade, Investigative detective." The two girls laughed at this introduction. "So what are you and your brother doing with Count Olaf? He's nothing but a villain."

"That's what Klaus said." Fiona said fondly. She seemed lost in a daydream.

"Klaus as in Baudelaire?"

"You know him?" Fiona asked with excitement. Lily immediately wished she let Fiona stay daydreaming. First the girl on the roof, now an enemy? But was she really an enemy if the Baudelaire's trusted her.

"He was a very good friend of mine. So was Violet and Sunny. But Klaus and I were a lot closer. Our interests were similar. So I traded my fortune and freedom for their happiness and safety."

"I know how you feel." Fiona said sadly.

"You do? How?"

"In the submarine together, I was faced with choosing either the Baudelaire orphans, or my brother. I chose my brother and I don't regret it, but sometimes I wish he came with me. He was absolutely..."

"Amazing?"

"Yeah. Hey, what's wrong? I didn't mean it like that. Lily--"

"Well well well, Fiona." Olaf said as he and Esme came to the door. "You may just be wicked enough to be one of us after all."

They all left the room, and a bald Lily sat down on the bed and began to cry, unaware Fiona was clueless about breaking her heart. She only did what Esme told her to do, and that was to talk about the Baudelaire orphans.