What Friends Are For

A Questioning Detective

(A/N: Hi everyone! Just wanted to warn you that if you haven't finished the Netflix series yet, there's some spoilers ahead. Read with caution, and enjoy!)

"Trevor, are we heading to the old beach house?" Lily asked, although her brother had asked her to be quiet.

"Good guess. Now please be quiet."

"How did you know where to find me? And no, I'm not going to be quiet. I'm going to keep asking questions until I get answers."

"You haven't changed a bit, Lily. You're still stubborn and as mischievous as ever. And a great detective. With a Cartographer on your side, I knew it was only a matter of time before you figured out where to go, and with three of you, I knew you could get out of Olaf's clutches fast. And now that we're in the middle of the ocean, I'll answer any questions you or your friends may have to the best of my ability." Lily looked back at her friends with a million questions in her eyes. Klaus and Quigley gave her a nod.

"Why did it take me being kidnapped for you to show up and prove that you were alive?" Lily asked angrily.

"Wait, you didn't get my messages?"

"You mean the ones in the Daily Punctilio? The ones the editors change to please the public like volunteer fire defense?"

"That was supposed to be department."

"I'm just telling you what it said. Your messages got scrambled just like the Daily Punctilio itself. I may have known you were alive, but I didn't know were you where most of the time. And all you ever had to do was--"

"My school was set on fire by a man with a beard but no hair and a woman with hair but no beard. I didn't come back home because by the time I found my way to a payphone, there was no answer. That's when I discovered our house and our parents had perished. I remembered reading a book that talked about secret organizations, and I recreated VFD down in Peru. I know I should have gone back to see you. I just thought you would be safer without me around."

"If you thought I would be safer, then how did you find out I was kidnapped?"

"They have news down in Peru too. I also have some VFD spies up here."

"You always where fascinated with spies and secrets."

"It payed off, didn't it? We have a place to go to, and there's secrets you can uncover, detective."

"And books?"

"Of course, on everything!"

"Things to invent?"

"I'm sure your friend Violet will love our inventing studios."

"Bite? Cook? Write couplets about? Research? Map out?"

"There'll be something for everyone."

"And what about Aunt Norma?" Trevor fell silent. "You don't want to tell her you're alive."

"That wasn't a question."

"No, it wasn't. We have a family up here still. Don't you think they should know what's going on instead of being worried?"

"Not when it's safer for them to not know. Lily, please trust me. I know it's your instinct to distrust someone until you have proof of anything that they're saying, but please trust me. Besides, with you tricking Count Olaf into confessing his crimes, you made everyone in this boat a target for Olaf until he ends up in jail, or dead. That also includes any relatives he thinks may have access to our fortunes."

"So sorry I put everyone in danger so I could bring a horrible crook to justice."

"Lily, you aren't getting the big picture."

"I think I already did when I decided to take on the case of how my house, your childhood home, burned down in flames. Olaf is a murderer."

"Yes, but he was also a member of VFD."

"I know, Trevor." Trevor stopped sailing to look at Lily, who was now glowing red with fury. Shock and a small bit of pride shined on his face.

"Violet, can you sail for a little. I'll man the tiller."

"Ok," Violet said as she went to the sails, and everyone shifted to the other side of the boat, pretending not to be listening.

"Do you know why he quit VFD?"

"Something to do with poison darts, the death of Olaf's father, a Lemony Snicket and a woman..." here Lily paused, realizing that behind her, she had friends who would surely figure out who 'a woman named Beatrice' was. After all, she happened to be their mother. Trevor could see she was trying to choose her words very carefully.

"Besides that, what else do you know about that night?"

"A sugar bowl was taken from Esme Squalor."

"So you've done your detective work. Good. How did Olaf learn how to light fires?"

"Trevor, I was researching how Olaf started the fires, not how he learned to make them. I don't see why it's important that I know..." As Lily trailed off, you could almost hear her mind shuffling through files of paper and the slamming of file cabinets. "Did the man with a beard but no hair and the woman with hair but no beard have an aura of menace around them?"

"That came out of nowhere."

"It came out of a newspaper article years before I was born. It described two people seen going into a jewelry store across from the opera house and vanishing completely. Two guards were found dead from smoke inhalation and the building burned to the ground."

"So what does that have to do with Olaf and how he learned to light fires?"

"That building was called a Very Fashionable Diamond store. There's an insignia on the floor there too. Pictures never lie."

"Unless the picture's in disguise."

"That doesn't make any sense!"

"What if you saw a picture of three people in a piano? And yet you didn't know anyone was in there."

"I'd figure it out. After all, I am a detective." The two glared at each other for a moment.

"No you wouldn't have." Klaus muttered behind her. Lily turned around to look at him.

"What do you mean, I wouldn't have?"

"Our parents and our Uncle Monty where in a piano. Our Uncle Monty had to tell us they where in there."

"And you're sure I couldn't figure it out?"

"Well... I can't say for sure. You do figure out some amazing things."

"Thank you, Klaus." She gave him a hug, then turned back to glare at her brother again. However, he already switched places with Violet and was now sailing again. Lily, worn out from arguing and escaping Count Olaf, curled up at the bottom of the boat next to Klaus and Sunny, her brother throwing his coat over her as she fell asleep.