Chapter 13

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Jisoo's POV

"So you're going to have dinner with Suho?" Seokjin said when I told him about my dinner plan with Suho.

We are in our place. I have been eating ice cream that I bought. Seokjin stopped eating after I told him about my dinner plan. I answered, "Yes."

"When?" He asked me.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know. He told me he is busy preparing EXO's comeback. He is going to wait until our schedule a little bit looser. He knows that I'm going to have a comeback. He was just letting me know about it."

"So he told you that he wants to have a date with you and now he is planning his date with you behind your back until you are both not too busy anymore?" Uh-oh... When Kim Seokjin starts to speak fast, it means he is angry.

"I told you it's not a date. It's a dinner between a senior and his junior." I corrected him.

"We both know that's a lie." I don't know how to deal with this Seokjin right now. His neck and face are starting to get really red from his anger.

"Here. Eat some ice cream." I feed him some ice cream. Hoping he would calm down a little bit. He accepted it and eat it but the whole time he is still glaring at me.

I went back to my ice cream. I told him so he knows about this from me. Because he needs to know about it. I don't want to blindside him. I don't want him to know from other people. They can twist it into another thing that will be dangerous for us. I don't want that.

I dropped my head and played with my ice cream. I murmured to him, "I told you so you can hear it from me. I'm not telling you this to make you angry. You told me before, you want me to be honest with you."

He groans and he moves. I was standing in front of the kitchen counter with my ice cream when he engulfed me. He made his way to me then he puts his hands on my waist and pulls me closer to him. He circles his hands on my waist as he hugged from behind then he puts his chin on my shoulder. I regretted my decision to wear an off-the-shoulder top because once he puts his chin on my shoulder, I felt it in my whole body as I shivered. When is he going to stop to make me feel this way every time we had skin to skin contact?

"I'm not angry, Jisoo... I was just... Okay, fine... I'll admit it. I'm jealous." Seokjin said. He was talking with his chin on my shoulder so I can feel it every time his jaw moves.

"Why?" I asked him. Please tell me because we're in a relationship. Please tell me because I'm yours. Please tell me because you don't want to lose me. Please tell me because I'm your girlfriend. Please tell me whatever that can explain our relationship.

"Suho has been into Irene for god knows how long. I don't want you to be his second best." Seokjin says.

My heart dropped.

He started to give my neck and shoulder small kisses but my mind was not on his affection. If he can see me he will know that he makes me upset. My face goes blank after I heard his answer. Seokjin needs to know how I felt about him. I'm going to tell him because he sure is not going to make anything clear for us.

I need to prepare myself with whatever his response was going to be. Either he is going to stay with me or he doesn't want to be with me anymore. Or he is going to be persistent that we don't need any label in our relationship and I will die inside but I will accept whatever he is willing to give me as long as he is still a sweet Seokjin that I know. To be honest, I don't know if I can actually handle that.

But... I'm not ready to lose him. I will tell him but not now.

***

I opened the door to my dorm when I saw all of my members and one of our managers was sitting in our living room.

"Jisoo unnie...!" Lisa called me. "Do you know, unnie? We are going to have our first radio show next week."

"Really?" I asked them feeling excited. I've been waiting for us to have a chance to be on a radio show. I know we'll do a good job on it. We just need to get over our shyness in it then we'll be good. For us to be good, we need to do it in the first place.

"Where? With who?" I asked them.

  "SBS. With Lee Gukjoo. Winner and iKon went to her shows. She was treating them well. So we decided to send Blackpink to her show as well." Our manager told me. Wow! I would never guess that our first ever radio show will be at her show.

Our manager gave me a piece of paper. I'm guessing I have to sign the paper right away. I saw at the bottom of the agreement, all of the girls already signed it. There are some things that our company doesn't want us to say in a show. The agreement is there to make us comfortable. Also for the person who will work with us to not cross the line and will lead them to have a problem with our company or even our fans. Most especially the public.

My friends had already told me, these kinds of things will happen eventually. You can't avoid the people that are close to your partner in this industry. Partner as in ex or boyfriend or boyfriend-to-be or in my case, someone that I have a sexual relationship with. Not the kind relationship that I want to be involved but it happens.

You had to be so goddamn lucky if you can avoid them at all. You can never separate your private life and your work in this industry. People see the Korean Entertainment industry like it is a big industry. It is not. It is small. We saw each other often the whole time.

It is still our choice if we want to be close to the people we worked with or not. That's why people chose to be close to a person or two from a group. It's rare if someone friends with a whole group. We still are going to have someone that we are closer to. It's also the reason why people are surprised that Jinyoung, Doyoung and I can be close offset.

Whatever it was, Seokjin and Lee Gukjoo's friendship or their more-than-friendship was still their choice to have. It can be in their past or they can still have it, it was their choice either. They are already close before he knows me so I don't have a say to it. Just like my friendships with Jinyoung and Doyoung or my other friends, Seokjin can't have a say about that. Unless their friendships with me are ruining our life but so far, none of that is happening.

The way faith works can be funny and painful at the same time. There are a lot of radio shows in Korea. Blackpink got to have their first radio show with a woman that had a rumor with Seokjin. A dating rumor.

I signed the paper in front of me. I gave it to our manager. I went to my room right away after he explained the rundown on the show and change my clothes.

"Unnie..." Jennie went to my room after I changed my outfit to be more comfortable in my room.

"Where is Dalgom?" I asked her.

"In my room with Kuma. He is sleeping there. He was waiting for you to come home but then he felt tired so I brought him to my room." Jennie answered.

"Oh..." I went to my bed and lay down on it.

"Unnie, are you okay?" Jennie asked me while she was laying down beside me on my bed. "Unnie... If it is too much, just break up with him. That's what you always do, by the way. If things were too much for you, you are not going to do it anymore."

It's Jennie. She knows something has been bugging me. She also knows why because she knows the rest of my problems. But weirdly enough, I can't tell her everything about me and Seokjin. Jennie's impression after she tried to know more about Seokjin was not too good. I don't want her judgment to affect my thoughts.

"I stayed through our training session," I told her. The training was the hardest part of the process of becoming an artist. After training, we got our debut. After our debut, we thought the hardest part of it was done. We are totally wrong. There are going to be more problems and hurdles that will be coming our way.

"You're right. But you know it's going to be worth it. Are you sure staying with him is going to be worth it?"

I don't answer her question because my heart and my brain are saying two different things. Jennie knows better than to pester me.

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