Single Caffeine

Was it Worth the Wait? (9)

Chapter Nine-

Was it Worth the Wait?

After you break up with someone you are meant to feel guilty and sad or whatever, but when I broke up with Nick I felt relieved. I felt happy to be single and do what I feel like, with who I want. Out of all the relationships I have had in my life time, hardly any, the one with nick just didn’t feel right; it wasn’t like how it should be.

Lately, the last few months, I had been questioning my feelings with Nick. Had I been with him just because he was there or did I truly like him at the start? After I realised we weren’t right together I had to break it off with him, but he somehow knew when I was going to do it and always made an excuse to be excused from the conversation.

“Are you thinking about him again?” Alex asked siting down on the bench, in the kitchen, next to me.

“Just how wrong our relationship was,” I said smiling at him then taking another sip of my coffee then putting it down on the bench behind me.

“What are you doing up so early?”

“I got startled by the lack of noise coming from the kitchen,” he said laughing.

“I am not that loud, you guys are just not use to a presence being awake before noon. That startles you.”

“Don’t be so stereotypical about rock stars,” he said in a female voice, for some unknown reason.

“Oh you are a rock star? I never knew .”

“I think you do. I remember you being all in love with us when we played at the concert you and Logan went to,” he said smiling at the day. “I actually remember seeing you out in the crowd. Your black hair with purple bits, suited you so well but not as nice as the red,” he said grabbing a strand and wrapping it around his finger.

“I think you have me confused with someone else,” I said breathlessly as we looked at each other.

“It would be hard to confuse your beauty with someone else.”

Alex had a small smile on his face, his eyes wide open and showing themselves, and his head tilted to the side a tad.

The tension had grown between us and it was getting difficult to not lean my head forward and press my lips against his.

I couldn’t reply to him as his fingers released from my hair only to re-grip around my waist and slide me on the counter to him. Our bodies so close that even the smallest of things wouldn’t have been able to fit between us. He leaned his forehead against mine and then went in to kiss me but pulled away slightly as if to rethink his decision, and that was what it was- his decision, I would go with whatever he decided to do.

 I gave Alex a reassuring smile as he twisted his head to swap sides, but I realised he was teasing me. He wanted to kiss me but he wanted me to suffer first, or to give in. I made a quick decision to give up; I didn’t want to wait any longer.

I pressed my lips against his, my nose brushing against his cheek and his doing the same as we moved in sync.

 Alex pulls back unexpectedly, ‘he must not be able to hold his breath for long,’ I thought to myself and gave him a curious look.

“What’s wrong?” I asked upset at the sudden stop.

“Please don’t look at me like that, please. I am sorry but I don’t want things to be awkward though I know they are now going to be,” he said jumping off the bench.

“It’s ok, I get it.”

“No you don’t,” Alex replied grabbing a hold of my hands and looking at me.

“Yes I do, remember you told me about the girl you like. It is fine, but I just don’t understand why you flirted with me and kissed me,” I said honestly.

I would be lying if I said I had never thought of Alex as more than a friend. He was attractive and that made me attracted to him, but that didn’t mean I would ever act on it.  I probably would have acted on it when I was 17 but Alex is 6 years older than me so that would have been highly illegal. Once I had known the boys for about a year I thought of them all as friends, so when Alex hit on me just then it surprised the hell out of me since he had never done it before. I felt terrible; I knew he probably wouldn’t like me in that way but he shouldn’t have started it. I felt even worse because he liked someone, he was just using me to stop thinking about her.

Alex had to think for a minute before he finally said, “Please don’t let this be awkward. I didn’t do it for any of the reasons you think. I didn’t pull away because you are a terrible kisser, or that I don’t like you. I pulled away because I like being your friend, I would love to be more he said smiling sadly at me.

“You would? Man, I feel like a teenager,” I said laughing slightly.

“I would really love to, I have always wanted to, but do you know something? I can’t betray Chase like that,” he said giving my hands a squeeze.

“What do you mean?”

“Chase, he has always had a thing for you and it never kept it a secret with the band either, whereas I did. So if I was to suddenly declare my feelings for you he would hate me for it. When I say I don’t want this to be awkward I don’t mean between us, I mean between all of us.”

“I never knew,” I said feeling left out of the dark.

“How could you have not known? He makes it so obvious, I get it sometimes does sound like a joke when he says it.”

“But I don’t like him that way, I never have.”

I felt stuck; my best friend in the whole wide world had just kissed me only to tell me that my other best friend has liked me for the past few years. I didn’t know what to say. I have never liked Chase, sure he is cute but he is a friend. Alex is a friend too, but it feels different with him, maybe it is the hormones talking.

“That may be true but I can’t act on my feelings without hurting him, even though you may not like him,” he said putting his hands around me and giving me a weird, yet comfy, hug.

“This is really complicated,” I said frowning.

“It would be worse for you because you have only just been enlightened, but I have had years to try and work it all out.”

“Poor you,” I giggled at him. I hopped down from counter and gave Alex a proper hug. “You give good hugs,” I sighed.

“It’s because I am so darn cuddly,” Alex said embracing me tightly.

“Can I ask you something, well two things actually,” I asked then he nodded, still in our embrace. “Do we have to pretend like this never happened? Obviously we will in front of the others but can we still remember the awesome kiss we shared?”

“Well I guess, but what is the point?”

“I just don’t want to forget it, it was too good to forget,” I said making him smile.

“You are cute. What is the second question?”

“Can I kiss you again? Just one last time, please?”

“You need to keep control of your hormones,” Alex teased but nevertheless kissed me, better than last time and for a little bit longer before I had to go to work.

**

YES, I know! FINALLY! It has been… how long? 10 years? Probably. Was it worth the wait?