Ambrosine Brooks
One week later (maybe..)
I was headed to brunch with my family to just catch up and be normal for once. I was on my way out the door with Chasity when I was stopped dead in my tracks.
"You must've forgot you had a daughter and lost your fucking mind huh? It's been a motherfucking week Ambrosine. You that jealous you won't even come get your daughter? How the fuck does that even go hand and hand huh? You're a deadbeat bro! Move out my way." He pushed past me.
He stormed upstairs and I followed. He entered my room and began to grab all of Logan's things.
"What do you think you're doing?!"
"Taking my daughter's things and going." He spoke firmly.
"You can't do that! You have no legal documents or rights to go anywhere without my permission!"
"So where the hell were you at for a week?!"
"In bed sick!"
"Yes, I was too, sick of your stupid ass!"
"Whatever, Saint."
"Aight. When you have my son I'll be doing the same."
"He isn't yours anyways!"
"What the fuck you just say to me?" He balled his hand into a fist.
I woke up from this toxic ass dream sweating.
"What the fuck?" I sighed, pulling the covers back and walking over to my bathroom. I turned on the shower before splashing my face with water at the sink. I got in the shower and went into deep thought.
My inner conscious was screaming at me not to make any dumb decisions no matter how pregnant I was. I had no reason to be jealous because he has voiced to the world he was madly in love.
It was her I couldn't trust. Time after time I was nice and treated her with respect. She always flipped this switch with me. One second we were cool and the next she was plotting to get Saint back. She had kept Nova away from him numerous times and caused chaos amongst his and her family in unimaginable ways. When Saint left we made it work out for the best. It was neutral and mature, but I guess that's because neither one of us had him. So yes, I was upset to hear she was homeless with Nova. I look at Nova as my own and I would never want her in harm's way. But I am Saint's fiancée, and after today, she will have no reason to be in his clothes and soon no reason to be in his bed. I won't press this issue with him anymore because these dreams are definitely not pleasant, but I will keep my eye on her.
I mean, come on, if your man calls you at three in the morning with bad news, are you going to argue about sleeping arrangements? As a future wife, I have to meet him halfway, but I also have to voice my own feelings toward any situation bothering me because I won't let it eat at my mind. I have been walked over by a man my entire life, so I choose to tell Saint major things that bother me. I just felt like speaking up to him, opposed to bottling up my feelings. My feelings are all over the place these days, though. It's just something I can't control. I cry over food, I cry when I miss him, I cry when I think about what could have been for Apryl and I had we never been separated. I've always been a crybaby, but he loved this crybaby. It had gotten worse though. I guess it's just my mental right now.
My mind and I were at a constant battle over when to speak up about certain issues. I always felt like once I spoke up, I would be seen as this "bitchy dark-skinned girl with a bad attitude" who wasn't even "that cute to be so mad." It was the reality of most Black girls. Once we showed some form of unhappiness, we were labeled a "Mad Black Woman" or "Extra." Quite frankly, it was annoying. I had every right not to want this woman who was once intimate with him to be in his bed. There was a couch and Nova's room that could have been utilized. Something could have worked to where we were all pleased. Despite him being on the couch, it still bothered me that someone was probably on my side of the bed.
