Suicidal Love - [NaLu Story]

Chapter Twelve - Depression Overtake

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•Depression aleart! Graffic stuff about self harm! Read at your own risk..
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"Ugh.." Lucy sighed as she colapssed on her bed. The whole time, she just stared at the ceiling and thought. Thought about everything that happened in the past.

Why did I start feeling like this now..?

Why..?

Why do I feel so depressed now? I'm fine. My life is fine.

My dad isn't there to abuse me anymore, there's no reason for me to feel like this.

I want it to stop.. please stop.

Lucy thought as tears began to form in the corner of her eyes. Her depression crumbled back afterall.. she thought that there's nothing she'll ever be able to do to get tid of it. But, at the same time, her depression was there with her when no one was.

She felt the need to cut again, without any reason. She just felt like it and she hated her addiction, but she couldn't stop herself either.

She went to the bathroom and took a shaving blade, fresh new from the package. She took a lighter, too. When she turned the lighter on she started to light the shaver on fire to melt the plastic.

When she finished she looked at it in satisfaction. Lucy took her new toy and lift up her shorts. Her cuts from before turned into scars, nothing fresh was on her legs and it bothered her. She missed the feeling of pain.

She slid the blade across her thigh and tears began to fall from her eyes. She cried, but she didn't stop. She regretted it, but she didn't want to stop. The red liquid ran down her legs as her face was red and her eyes were bloody from crying.

She felt nothing, she felt numb.

She needed to clean herself up and everything around her. As she did so, every time she saw blood she had a look of disgust on her face. The thoughts like:

So weak.. you're so weak that you can't even hold yourself back from cutting.

Look at that! Are you happy now?!

Why do you have to be so weak?

How do you expect anyone to love you with a body full of scars and cuts?!

In the past, when she had a thoughts like that after cutting she would breakdown all over.. but now, she didn't feel a thing. It was so late at night that she didn't even notice the time. It was 3:49 am. When she got into her room it was only 00:15 am.

~Next morning~

"Good morning, Luce!" Natsu said as he finished making his breakfast. His eggs even looked eatable.

"I made you some eggs if you want them.." he continued and put the plate in front of her.

Lucy looked at the plate, she looked calm, but in reality she felt horrified.

What if Natsu sees my cuts!

He'll be so disappointed.

He'll probably leave me if he sees them.. i'm so scared, but it's my fault.

I'm such a failure..

I'm so weak..

"Luce!" Natsu shook her shoulders and it snapped her out of her gaze. She looked at him who loooked as childish as ever.

"You spaced out, is something bothering you?" He asked, his childish side vanishing in instant.

"No.. I'm completely fine, no need to worry." She said and put her thumbs up, signing that everything's alright. When in realty, nothing was..

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Done!

Again, sorry for the depressing chapter, but its important for the story line.

Also, sorry for the long pauses between chapters.. I feel like I say it every time and I'm already going on my own nerves so I can only imagine how you feel..

Thank you for reading my boring book, bye-bye ❤️