Suicidal Love - [NaLu Story]

Chapter Thirteen - Her Pain

Why the hell?

Why won't this numbness go away?

I want to care!

Lucy thought as she looked at her hands. If they got cut off right now, she wouldn't even react. She didn't like feeling like this, it only meant that she'll push her close friends away and mess up everything.

"Lu-chan!" Blunette yelled as she ran and hugged the blonde from behind.

"Levy-chan" Lucy said with lack of emotion, nothing could make her not feel like this. At least that's what she thought.

"I didn't see you in a while, what's up with you?" Levy asked and let go of Lucy to look into her eyes.

"Nothing really.. listen Levy, I gotta go, but I'll talk to you soon.." She said and took off.

"She didn't call me Levy-chan.." Levy sighed sadly and walked away.

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"I hate this! I hate this!!" Lucy yelled under her breath as she bumped into someone.

"Lucy?" Said a raven haired boy.

"G-Gray? W-What's up?" She asked, but she wanted to go, somewhere where she wouldn't push anyone away. She wanted to be alone with herself, even though she knew that could be dangerous.

"I didn't see you in so long. What have you been doing?"

"I uh... Nothing much.." She said and kept her gaze on a trash can next to them. She couldn't concentrate at all.

"Lucy? Are you listening?" He asked and shook her shoulders, bringing her back to reality.

"Y-Yeah.. uh Gray, what do you say we go on a cup of coffee some other day and I'll explain everything then, what do you say?"

"Sure thing! I see you're in a rush, I'll see you on that coffee..!" He slightly yelled making her fake a smile and rush off.

~~

God dammit! Why now? Why do I run into everyone now?

Whatever, I just want to be alone.

Lucy walked to her and Natsu's house and went straight to her room.

She layed on her bed and turned over to get her box in which she kept her self harm kit.

"I've missed you.." She said and slightly smiled.

She ran the blade across her arm and didn't feel the pain that would usually sting bad. She cut few more times before giving up and yelled angrily.

"Why isn't this working?! What the hell!" She screamed as she punched her wooden door few times, bruising her hands.

She kept punching it until she heard door opening, meaning Natsu is back. Luckily, none of her punches were visible on the door.

"Luce! Where are you?!" He yelled, his voice sounding worried for his best friend.

"Lucy!" He busted through the door and saw... he saw everything she did. He saw blooded tissues on the floor and on her work table, he saw the blood stains on her sleeves, he saw her bruised hands and he saw her pain.

"L-Luce... w-what happened?" He tripped over his own words. He couldn't believe what was in front of his eyes. He thought she was getting better, he thought she was happy... how could he be so stupid and not seeing all this pain.

"N-Natsu... it's not what you t-think.." She stammered as her lip quivered. She tried to keep her tears in.

"Don't hold yourself back, it's just me... you can cry in front of me..." He said, sadness filling his voice.

"I'm sorry!" She collapsed on her knees and cupped her face in her hands, she was breaking down and falling apart right in front of him. Her heart ached from holding back and lying to her best friend and his ached from seeing her like this.

"It's okay, I'm here for you.." He said as he walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, making her crying on his chest while he stroked her hair.

She sobbed and grabbed his shirt, tightening her grip on it. She screamed and sobbed, tears streaming down her face on Natsu's shirt, but he didn't mind.

"Natsu! Natsu..." She repeated his name, it made her calmer.

"Can I see them?" Natsu wispered, Lucy hid her face in his chest, but after few moments she looked at his eyes.

"I'm sorry.." She said one more time and pulled up her sleeves. Her arms were full of new bloody cuts over old scars. Some of them didn't even stop bleeding and her whole shirt was full of blood stains.

"I'm not mad at you, but... why?" He asked, almost sounding desperate. He wanted to know what caused the best person who ever walked into his life such pain.

"The numbness, it wouldn't go away... I tried to ignore it and make myself fee something, even a bad emotions, but nothing worked.. I just wanted to feel something, Natsu, I don't want to feel like this.. I hate this.." She wispered as new tears filled her eyes.

"Lucy, you can tell me when you feel like this and I swear I'll make you feel something, you can count on me..!"

"Okay, sure."

"Do you feel like this now?" He asked as she slowly nodded and looked away.

"Okay then, let's try this." He said and held her face slowly leaning in, he got really close to her face and her face got really red. He came closser, closser and closser until...
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His lips brushed against hers. Not innocently, like a tease but hot, fiery, passionate and demanding. He wanted to pull away before he lost himself but he couldn't... In this minty moment, his senses have been seduced and he couldn't think straight.

"Lucy.." he whispers slowly, prolonging each letter as if to savor them. They pulled away, both in the need to breathe. For a few moments they only looked at each other.

"Do you feel something now?" He said seducivly. Her cheeks stained in red, just like his. She nooded her head once again and leaned in for another. She felt happy.
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Awhh.. they finally kissed!

What are your thoughts on this?

Thanks for reading, bye-bye ❤️