Holding On (A Harry Styles Love Story)

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I drifted back into consciousness and saw that the time was 4:15. We'd been driving almost 4 hours, and I was asleep pretty much the whole time.

It only took me a few seconds of being awake to remember why I wanted to sleep in the first place. The pain. The love that I may have lost, and all the hurt that came with it.

My eyes felt swollen from all of the crying earlier, and my chest felt numb. I sat in silence, watching the road outside my window before Jessica noticed that I was awake.

"Hey. How're ya feeling?" she asked softly.

I shrugged. "I've been better."

"I'm sorry. Do you want to put on some music? Will that make you feel better?"

"Yeah... Anything but them."

"Of course."

Jessica ejected the CD, and I tried not to think pay attention to it. Although, the writing on it screamed at me. Up All Night. One Direction.

I tried not to think about it as she turned on the radio. It was Ryan Seacrest's radio show, and he was talking about some celebrity's recent tattoo. I wasn't paying much attention to what he was saying, until something happened that's never happened before. I was on the radio.

His voice blasted out of our speakers, "This just in. One Direction spent a week in Florida, and just this morning they flew out to Dallas for their next show. Band member Harry Styles was teary eyed after saying 'goodbye' to an unknown blonde."

This is bad.

"Wait, no, I take that back." Ryan corrected, "She's not unknown. Styles tweeted about her numerous times, and they were seen hanging out in Orlando. But no one knows who she is, or where she came from, but we have pictures of their emotional goodbye on our website. Go to www.ryanseacrest.com to find out more.

And it got worse.

I could feel the tears start coming. I felt like I'd just been punched in the gut. What the actual heck? Why was that on the radio? That was nobody's business. It was only mine and Harry's. And Harry was in Dallas prepping for a concert, and I was in the car, staring at the speakers with tears in my eyes like some sort of idiot.

"Wow...um, I can't believe that was a story." Jessica mumbled, and I nodded numbly.

"Me either."

"I'm so sorry."

"Me too."

She didn't say anything after that, and neither did I. What else would I say? We rode in silence for an endless amount of time. Jessica drove and I watched the Florida scenery pass by me. I watched the cars, the trees, the gas stations speed past us. Every mile we drove away, I was further away from the place that changed my life. Orlando.

I didn't even look at the clock until it was already 6:45. We were about 15 minutes outside of Destin. I made myself crack a small smile, I was tired of being sad.

"Almost home." I stretched out my arms and said quietly with a smile.

Jessica turned to me, worry lines evident on her face. She must've seen right through my happy face.

"Yeah... I know. You ready?" she asked slowly, and I shook my head, giving in to my emotions. "Not at all." My voice cracked and I let a tear slip down my face. Jessica looked at me sympathetically, taking one hand off of the wheel to put it around me. Rubbing my shoulder, she whispered to me. "I know, babe. I know."

I lay my head on her shoulder as she drove, not wanting to feel any more pain. But I knew the pain was just now starting. I needed to forget Harry. I needed to lose hope in seeing him again, and I needed to get over him. If I could get used to the thought of not being with Harry, maybe it wouldn't hurt so bad.