Black Blood

Chapter 4 : Black blood syndrome

There's something dark in my eyes for a while. I was lost somewhere, somewhere dark. My eyes were filled with fear yet sparkling with satisfaction. For a moment it felt as if  time stopped and I experienced the bliss of energy within me.
Arora's scream awoke me. I was shocked on seeing what was going to happen. Without a thought I pulled Arora back and hugged her, shivers could be felt throughout her body. In a click of a second the car went rushing away beside us, leaving behind effect of wind.
"Are you okay??"
She looked pale.
"Yeah. I'm fine." Then she looked at me and took two steps back. "Did you just??" She looked at me, confusion and terror sweeping in her eyes. Her sight hit me hard. Seeing her like that broke me.
Tears started forming in my eyes. I was going mad, I had to leave before it got worse! I thought to myself. She could have died Because of me. I would have killed her. What the hell was wrong with me!!!
"I'm sorry. Can I have your phone?"
Still perplexed, she gave me her phone, where I started surfing through her contacts..
There it was. Mr.Wilsons phone number!. He was Arora's father and was a very kind person. So, I hit the dial button.
On first bell the phone got answered, he spoke from the other side.
"Hey. Arora I was worried when are you coming back home? Do you want me to pick you up kid?"
Arora was standing behind me, on processing who I had called, she reacted.
"Why on Earth are you calling dad?"

I acted as if I didn't hear her. The phone still stuck to my ear.
"That would be great Mr.Wilson, Arora is with me."

Immediately he recognized my voice.
"Oh Lewis, is it??... how are you son?"
Ignoring his question I continued.
"We are at the cinema downtown. Can you pick her up? I need to leave for some urgent business.
"Sure."
After hanging up. I turned towards Arora who was now on the verge of crying. Trying to console her I said.
"Listen to me Arora. I'm sorry." And then there was a lack of words I had never experienced before and I ran away from her. My ears heard her distant struggle to stop me but I had to run away, far away from her. Where I couldn't hurt her.

                         *********
While I was running I crossed the same tree at which I would have hit the car and the same river where I could have dumped Arora's body. Nothing made sense how could I even think of those things. Arora for me was not just a girl. She was all what one called life. She consumed me, she made me who I was. The world could easily deal with one less person but my world would have been nothing without her.
Have you ever felt your breath choked away even if you're breathing well?
Have you ever looked in your own God damn reflection and felt alien.
As if what you're seeing is not who you are. I was running in a speed I had not run  before. The streets, the shops, here and there. The glass windows, the wooden doors. All passing in a blur. But one thing was clear. Every written word, every poster ever advertisment seemed to remind me of my reflection. Of who I had become. Of what I had done.

I was now  facing an old building where no one lived. Only a street light was on, indicating it's presence.
Stopping, I clenched my fist.
And then unconcioussly it ended roughly punching the wall. My fist started bleeding but still I continued  I couldn't stop. Have you ever hurt the one thing. That very one thing almost completely responsible for your existence. My parents were really good and caring but somehow I never really felt connected to them. And they always kept a counted distance between us. I always thought that something was wrong with me. Whenever they saw me, Instead of lightning up their mood I made them worry. Recently father had always been in a hurry and busy with his work. And most importantly they had completely cut their communication with me since I admitted to the hospital. I was still not sure what was happening with me. I mean just think why would anyone commit suicide out of the blue? I loved my life and now I was determined to destroy it. Why??
I punched the wall even harder this time.
"Whyy????" I shouted. Afraid of the sound. A cat jumped from the wall and ran away. It was the same cat I had saved once. And even now I was feeling hatred towards it. Like it needed to be dead. Like I should have left her there to rot instead of saving it earlier. What the hell was wrong with me?? And Arora?? She who had been there for me no matter what the situation was. We were a happy couple with a happy life. What changed so quickly? There was this day when we were kids while playing on the slide I accidently pushed her and she hurt her knee. I couldn't sleep the whole night because I had hurt her. And I can not beleive I was the one who pushed her. Pushed her to... Die???????
I couldn't stop thinking about her.  Of how hurt would she be? Of how brutal I had become. What was happening with my mind.
I was a butterfly and she was my wings.
She made me beautiful and let me fly.
It felt like the wings had been smashed and ripped away from me leaving behind a dark black skeleton.
Her pale face and questioning eyes constantly reminding me of the colourless faded wings. And that I was the one who did it.
"Nothing happened. I DIDN'T!!"
I shouted to the old worn-out wall.
My voice filled with heavy breaths.
"I'm sorry Arora."
I let out a big scream, and started running again.
        
                   **********

With heavy feet and a pounding head, I opened the door of my home and enterred.
My parents were out on a bussiness trip for some days and I had the house all to myself. My feet dragged me to the couch in the tv lounge where oblivion swallowed me.

                 ******
A vibrating sound tickled my ears, my head still heavy. I opened my eyes, showing me a phone screen at full brightness. On realizing someone was calling me I picked up the phone..
"He-y" my throat still hurt from yesterday.
"We are from the Millstone hospital. Is this Mr.Lewis Carnical speaking?"
My mind immediately went to the day when doctors told me they had taken some tests.
"Yes. It's me."
"We're sorry but you'll have to be brave for what we're going to tell you."
"Okay. I'm ready. Tell me."
What possibly worse could happen ? They'd tell me I had cancer or something.. I did'nt really care.
"You have been diagnosed with black blood syndrome and it's stage three..."
Black blood syndrome. Had they lost it or what?
"Excuse me. What do you mean??"
The other side replied.
"It's true. Your parents had it hidden but we decided it was about time we approach you. You should visit us tomorrow evening to discuss the details."
The phone slipped out of my hands, I stood in the tv lounge, the world went round and round, my mind was'nt being able to process the information.
"You are diagnosed with the black blood syndrome. Stage three."
Echoes, echoes and echoes.
"You are diagnosed"
"Black blood"
"Syndrome"
Different voices, and flashbacks filled my vision.
The knife, sharpenss, my wrist, hospital. Arora.
"Anna killed herself"
I could hear john saying.
"It's better to die before it gets you"
Voices and voices and voices.
"No one knew about her whereabouts"
"Anna killed her cat"
"It made her evil"
"She could'nt take it"
(All the thoughts went on and on in my mind ..)
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