I love the feeling of emptiness and nothingness. I love how it feels to be blank.
The feeling of being so close to dying, or even just close to passing out, where the world is a blur and the only sound I can hear is the blood that's barely pumping through my veins. The feeling of squeezing fresh blood out of my arm, onto my bed. Feeling dizzy in the morning because I lost too much blood but going on through my day like nothing happened, like nothings off. Feeling dizzy pain because I haven't eaten for a while.
I love the feeling of having a blank mind. Where I've faltered my blood flow enough to not be able to think about anything or focus on anything.
A blank mind, an empty stomach, and a bleeding arm. That's what takes over most of my mind most nights.
My feeling of wanting to die is to feel that blankness. I don't want to die. If I could live for as long as the world was prospering I fucking would. I absolutely love the idea of immortality, that'd be so sick. If there was a way to live in a world like that in the Who Killed Markiplier manner I would love that, to be able to feel death a million times but never die. The possibility to sit at the bottom of a pool for hours on end. To be able to feel the pain and the emptiness. All while I continue to live & be alive.
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Not quite living
RawakA story of my life up until now, or when "now" is when I finish writing this. Disclaimer: everything in this is 100% true. This story won't be a "family friendly" thing. I'm going to cover very real things that may be triggering. This goes from wh...
