Tomorrow is my birthday and I'm getting this pit in my stomach.
I've grown to hate my birthday, not because I never do anything for it but because ever since I was a little kid, I've been disappointed by it. Not what I get but what happens, how people act.
There's not a time where I want to do anything for my birthday anymore. I'd rather treat it like another normal day.
Ever since I was a kid it's like my birthday was an inconvenience to the world. Something always happens that makes me feel like I'm not enough and like no one cares.
One year my sister's car broke down and the family's focus was on her, like always. One year my birthday was on Thanksgiving so I got totally ignored.
It was about two years ago when I stopped giving a shit about my birthday. I still hate it, but I try to not let the things that would've disappointed me then to disappoint me anymore. I still get sick every year on my birthday and I still have an overwhelming want to self harm on my birthday but I don't let current situations fuck with me. It's the stigma I have with my birthday that makes me sick.
This year I'll be alone, it'll be a normal day.
Hopefully.
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Not quite living
De TodoA story of my life up until now, or when "now" is when I finish writing this. Disclaimer: everything in this is 100% true. This story won't be a "family friendly" thing. I'm going to cover very real things that may be triggering. This goes from wh...
