Goodbye at Mid September

Hating City

This is Diane's point of view. Only.

If there are a lot of mistakes, so sorry. My eyes are blurry and am tired from a long day.

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Well.

What can a single, 22-year-old, busy girl like me do to a man six years older than her?

When he kisses her..?

Well, what I did was something my Nana, my best friends Anna and Sam, and my best friend's husband Johnny...can ever expect.

I punched the guy right in the face and started to jog off. "Why did you do that? You are such...such..." I kept on yelling and became mad at him for the first time. Mad. Not annoyed. MAD.

"I'm sorry!" He laughed.

"Oh shut that mocking apology! I don't even know why I keep on tolerating your torment!"

I heard him follow. "Well, I was wondering the same thing."

When he caught up, I faced him. Then I punched his shoulders hard. "I. Hate. You!!"

"What's the matter with you? It's just a kiss." He defended.

"Exactly!"

Now, he looked confused. "What?"

"You said that it's just a kiss. For you, you idiota! Now, I am going to wander off this planet knowing that such a jerk like you had been the one to kiss me for the first time!"

"WHAT?"

And we both stopped.

His eyes really showed curiosity and concern.

He grabbed my arms and we got closer again, I felt too uncomfortable.

"I'm your first kiss?" He questioned.

I tried not to answer. Who knows if he'll laugh at my face and decide to tell the whole world that at the age of twenty-two, today is just the day I had been kissed.

"Well." I muttered and looked down, nervous, devastated...suicidal. "I've been really busy, okay? You don't know what it's like."

"How busy?" He retorted, letting me go. "How busy were you that you didn't have time for a relationship?"

I started to run off. "It's none of your freaking business, alright?" I shouted and began to feel mournful. No one knows how I'd been. No one knows what I'd been through. And remembering how I'd done it, to get here, makes me feel mournful. I pity myself but at the same time, proud.

But no one should ever experience this kind of things. Not one soul can ever know how agonizing it is.

When I got farther away from Fuel, I believed in the fact that he'd gone in the opposite direction. It had began raining five minutes ago but, I didn't stop walking. I was trapped in my past. I was trapped with the dark feeling of getting dragged to where I came from.

To this day it haunts me.

And I have no one to blame but 'City.'

~

Two blocks away from my house, I heard a car coming. I was on the sidewalk so I didn't care. I felt my breath getting pulled away from me. And I wanted to just sit on the concrete floor and cry and breathe.

I fell.

I fell hard on the ground, on my ass, merely sitting there and sobbing. I hugged my knees and let go and breathe. Hugged my knees and let go and breathe. I just wanted to yell there but, I couldn't. In me, there was no more voice.