Beautifully Broken ~Jacob Black Love Story~

Chapter 3 - It's ok not to be ok

Seth's POV

I walked in Emily's door stuffing the key back in my pocket. Leah and I slowly walked up to Emilys room. I sighed seeing her sitting my the window. Pictures of Jackson  surrounding her. Her journal in her lap. I looked back at Leah who was crying already.

"Emily?" I asked.

" Hey Seth." she said without turning around.

" Emily, please look at me " I asked. She slowly stood up and walked towards me.

" I missed you" she said. She was dressed in sweat pants and a huge sweatshirt.

I looked at the deep dark circles under her eyes.

" When was the last time you slept?" I asked.

" I um... I... I don't know." she stammered.

" Emily, when was the last time you ate?" Leah asked behind me.

"I don't know. Monday I think" she said clearing her throat.

" Emily, it's thursday." Leah scolded.

" Is it?" Emily asked completely oblivious. 

" Leah pack all of Emily's things" I stated walking Emily to the bathroom.

" I want you to take a shower, i'm going to bring you some clothes. Get dressed. Were leaving as soon as your done" I stated.

She nodded turning on the water.--

" leah, don't read it" I snapped grabbing her journal, putting it in her purse. " She's so sad" Leah cried. " I know, hurry up. I want to get her out of here."

I opened the bathroom door. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. Emily was sobbing in the shower. Hearing her cry is awful. I would do anything to stop her from crying. I grabbed a towel and reached in and turned  off the water, making sure she got all the soap out of her hair. I wrapped the towel around her and lifted her out of the shower. I sat down and pulled her in my lap.

" Seth" she stammered.

" Yeah baby?" I asked.

" I don't know how to live anymore" she cried. 

I looked up at Leah. Her hand covering her mouth. She walked out back in the bedroom so I wouldn't see her cry.--

" thanks for taking care of me Seth" Emily whispered as I blow dried her hair. " I'll always take care of you. Your my best friend" I smiled.

" Leah" I called. I heard her drop all the bags she pack on the floor and walking into the bathroom.

" You look so much better Emily" she smiled.

" Leah, will you do her make up?" I asked. " I thought you didn't want her wearing make up?" Leah asked.

" I don't, but I want her to feel better." I snapped. She nodded. I walked back to Emily's room and grabbed her bags.--

I combed my fingers through Emilys hair as she slept on my lap. " Seth" Leah snapped, keeping her eyes on the road.

" What?" I asked.

" Read the marked page in Emily's journal." she said. " What? No, I still can't believe you read her journal" I snapped.

" Just read it" she yelled. Be quiet" I shushed. " She'll be sleeping for days" Leah said.

I sighed opening her journal.

Sometimes we fight so hard for things we want, thinking it's what we're supposed to do. When in reality, God's doing all he can to tell us "It's time to let go"

" What about it?" I asked. " She's so sad" Leah cried.

" read the other page." she said. I sighed but nodded. Emily would kill me if she knew what I was doing.

They gave me the option. The one I've been wating for since I first found out Jackson's secret. But now he's dead. I keep thinking that his secret should die with him. It wont. I hate feeling like this. Helpless. Useless. If I did take the offer. I wouldn't be alone. Ren offered me as long as I want. But I don't know if I could do it. That would mean I would have to leave Seth and Leah. Even Sue. I can't leave them. Even though I'm completely alone. Honestly I'm convinced I'm always going to feel that way. They are always going to be there. They are the only one's I trust now. Seth is taking care of me even though I'm sick and pathetic. I don't even trust myself anymore. I'm so scared.

" What is this about?" I asked Leah as she pulled onto the highway. " I don't know, do you think it's vampires?" she asked.  

" I don't know"