Little Detectives

Note and Teaser

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Hello! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

So maybe, I'm just lazy enough to write another chapter because of my recent episodes. I had a burnout just before our College Admission Tests and I KNOW THAT I PROMISED to update frequently. Different emotions overwhelmed me ever since our school's exam week and the week before that and the week before. Basically, I have a pretty stressful month of October. Pile after piles of work and activities made me want to scream instead of doing them. I had countless of panic attacks the past whole month and my lifestyle drastically changed. Am I even making any sense anymore? I feel like crap.

I don't have proper sleep schedule. I can't eat on time. I always have to stay up late. My parents nag me to review when all I want to do is sleep or cry. I just want someone to listen to me without judging or stabbing me on the back. I feel so useless. I feel exhausted.

My anger and frustrations basically became bottled up and I don't want to ruin someone's day just to vent it all out. I just want to take a break from everything. I even planned to deactivate all my Social Accounts until, I feel fine of course. But then I remembered that this is the only place where I can bare myself to others because they don't really know who I am. I don't want to trouble my real friends because they're happy. Maybe that's why my anxiety and burnout episodes became worst. I feel like no one really cares about me and they just tolerate me because, 'I'm worth and fun keeping around.'

Yeah, right.

I love you, realities.

Where is the list of my concern? Ah.

My folks wanted me to take up Dentistry or Psychology or whatnot. I don't want to because; I wanted to take up International Studies or International Relations. Their expectations on me just makes me want to shrink and disappear.

Anyway, please enjoy the first revamped chapter of Gods and Phantoms a.k.a. Little Detectives. I'm discontinuing the LD Book and continue this at GP. Thank you.

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Pastel colored umbrellas and a perfect sunny day; today is the day that Sky will bury another loved one. But this person is so special and a person he loved dearly and unconditionally. And it's his fault why she's dead. He's the person who killed her. Because of his drastic measures and impulsive decisions to solve the long awaited case of delos Santos family massacre murder, it cost him too much. For cracking the case, he lost the girl he loved. His usual outfit that consists of a collared polo and black ripped skinny jeans was replaced with a black suit and tie along with the corsage of belladonna flower. The air was tense as he watched two famous people walked beside him. He can feel his life force ebbing out of him as her parents patted him on the shoulder, telling him that it's not his fault. That everything was an accident. But he knew better. He's not a sleuth for nothing. He knew that everybody was giving him the look of pity as they passed by him. He can't even cry anymore. There's no more tears left for him to cry.

He wanted to scream.

He wanted to get out of his own tortured mind as another person he loves dies in front of him. He wanted to open the casket in front of him but, he can't. He can't face the reality that she's already dead. He wanted to weep or ask for forgiveness to everyone who loved and adored her as cold, resentful looks were thrown at him.

Instead he closed his eyes and imagined her standing in front of him. Her cat-like features, blue gray eyes, beige porcelain skin, small stature that's so fragile, a sweet smile painted on her lips and her honey-like voice. Oh, how he long to hold her in his arms. "Celestine, I miss you so much." He choked out as the figment became blurry and rapidly faded away. He tried to reach out to her but alas, she drifted far from him. He wanted to stay in his own little world when a movement disturbed him.