Is this even real?

what.is-wrong-with.me¿.mov

Mid October - 8 weeks

Hello Friend. Yes, friend. I know it's lame but You're only in my head we have to remember that. If I were to give you a name I'd run the risk of not knowing what's real anymore. Shit. Why does it matter what's real, I'm talking to an imaginary person. If Krista were to find out she'd probably send me to a mental institution, but I like talking to you, you don't talk much but I guess that's okay I don't like talking to people anyway. I can tell you anything and it stays between us. I find comfort in that, talking to you makes me feel less lonely. Loneliness makes me sick, I've been sick for weeks now even nauseous. I find myself puking my guts out in the morning and later in the day. There's that feeling again. This feeling that tugs at my stomach like someone's clenching their fist over it. It's never lasted this long before it's strange. I've never been this tired before either. I'm gonna puke. Glad I made it to the bathroom I don't feel like cleaning up my own vomit, it'd probably make me puke again. God, I hate the taste of bile creeping up at the back of my throat. My esophagus burning with stomach acid. Fuck, I need to brush my teeth. This isn't normal it's been going on for way too long, something's wrong with me. Must be the flu or a stomach bug. I'll have to see a doctor. I haven't had any social interactions in months now, it's only You, Krista and Mr. Robot. Speaking of which, he's been gone too, I haven't seen him in what? two months now. Could it be, I'm cured? That after months of such intense mental instability it's finally over. What a ridiculous thought he's probably hiding somewhere it's not the first time he's been gone for a while. I wonder, why is he gone? Did something happen? Did he do something? Last I saw him was when I went out for a smoke, I don't remember what happened that night.

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November - 12 weeks

You're back. Long time no see. I went to the doctor, didn't help I still don't know what's wrong with me. Told them what's been going on, they took some blood and I left. About a week later I hacked into the hospitals' database. For a public place with an IT department, they sure were easy to hack. Checked my results, they must have made a mistake, it said I'm pregnant, must've gotten mixed up with another patient. Have you seen Mr. Robot I'm starting to worry, did something really happen that night? Where could he be? I have to take Flipper out for a walk. If it weren't for Qwerty and Flipper I'd be completely empty. It pains me every time I think of how badly that prick treated her. "I like you, Flipper, you're cool." Every time I make my way around the block with her she sniffs every dog we pass. It just makes these walks longer. "Come on Flipper I'm too tired for this." Yeah, I'm still not feeling better, this has become a regular thing now, me puking every day for the past two months straight. You can ad cramps to the mix, that's a recent symptom. I'm exhausted, these late night walks are pretty much the last thing I do before I collapse on my mattress and I wake up head in the toilet bowl. My pants are getting tighter, is this it? Has my body finally succumb to its age should I exercise? Or maybe it's a tumor. What's happening to me? Do I have cancer? Will, I die a slow and agonizing death? What do I do?