Is this even real?

dizzy.wmv

February - 22 weeks

Mr. Robot is oddly nice to me. Ever since he showed back up he's been good to me, checks up on me, asks about the baby. His suspicious behavior bothers me, he's never acted like that before something happened but he won't say what. Darlene wasn't kidding when she said she won't let me go a day without a full meal, she so good to me I can't thank her enough. She bought some clippers to cut my hair seeing how I'm not taking a step out of the apartment these days, I can't go to the hairstylist, she also bought a scale for some reason, I've gained 4 pounds. It's all going to my stomach obviously, week after week I watch it grow, it's the most bizarre thing I've ever seen. I think I'm starting to feel it kick, it was more like a flutter before but it's becoming more like little jabs now. I don't know how to feel about that, I'm still not 100% comfortable with it. Sure I find myself touching it, even caressing it sometimes, I don't know, maybe it's not that bad after all. I'm doing it right now, the touch doesn't seem so bad anymore, it's more relaxing now, soothing almost. Do you think I should talk to it? Apparently, it can hear me now, I don't know what I would say. 'Hey little critter, stop stretching out my shirts?' That doesn't feel right. Darlene's back. Good.

"Elliot you can't keep wearing sweatpants until you give birth."

I haven't even though that far ahead. The birth, what a strange word. I can't even imagine what it's going to be like. How much will it hurt? How long is it gonna be? Where will that even happen? I can't go to the hospital, they'll think I'm a freak.

"Elliot, are you listening to me?"

"I'm not gonna buy new clothes, Darlene. They'll be useless I'm not planning on doing this twice."

"That's not the point Elliot, seriously not even these sweatpants will be enough. And please for god's sake at least buy some bigger shirts, you shouldn't stretch these out."

Why does she always have to be right?

"Then I'll get a bigger pair of sweatpants and a couple of extra large shirts. Actually, could you do that? I don't want to go out there being like this."

"Like what?"

"You know."

"Being pregnant? People don't know Elliot, they won't even give it a thought."

"I don't care."

"Fine, I will but only because I know you won't do it."

"Thanks. Can you help me up? I need the bathroom."

I held my hands out to her and she helped me up, the room started spinning, I'm stumbling.

"Woah, you okay?"

I closed my eyes feeling lightheaded.

"Yeah, I just got dizzy is all." I stayed put so my head would stop spinning, that was weird.

"Can we order some takeout I'm starving."

"You've definitely regained your appetite, that's for sure."

"You're the one that's said I needed to eat more."

"But I didn't mean junk food."

"Come on, I can't help it, I feel like I'm more hungry than usual lately."

"Alright but just this time."