My Big-Hearted Dragon... Slayer

The letter

My eyes widen. From where I was previously standing, I was unable to see what he was doing, but from walking in I can clearly see him. He's breathing heavily, his body was covered in a layer of sweat, and his face was slightly flushed.

Before I can stop myself from staring at him, Sting-sama stands up and turns on a bedside lamp.
"Y-Yukino?" he says shakily as his face turns a deep shade of crimson.
"S-Sorry Sting-sama, I-I thought something was happening to you so I a-ah—S-Sorry!" I respond tripping over almost all my words.

I quickly avert my eyes away from the Master and look at the wall next to me, I'm too embarrassed to look at him right now.
As I take a step back, I turn my head to see Sting-sama take a step towards me. I finally look him in the eyes, and the flustered expression is replaced with an almost hurt expression. Why is he looking at me like that?

“I-I-I’m so sorry if I disturbed you.” I say quietly.
"I should be apologizing. Umm… d-did I wake you, Yukino?" he whispered quietly.
I feel my face flush three shades of red, my heart begins to race, and I start to tremble, "N-No, I was already awake...I couldn't sleep,"
Sting-sama nods, as his eyes glanced down, at me in ways that make me uncomfortable. I shift nervously once I see what he was looking at.
"Why are you staring? You've seen everything once before," I whisper softly as I look down.
He takes my chin and tips it upwards so I'm looking into his eyes, and responds, "And I was disappointed-"

He what?

“Sting-sama what do you-”

"-disappointed that I had done nothing then. I was angry at myself for allowing him to humiliate you. I'm sorry, Yukino."
I look at him in disbelief. His words are so genuine, and he's clearly sorry. But it's about something that happened so long ago.

I smile kindly and whisper to him softly, "For the last time, I forgive you Sting-sama. I'm just happy being here again and that's all that matters to me."

Without warning, Sting-sama pins me against the wall and looks into my eyes.
"I'm sorry, Yukino..." He says softly, “But no amount of apologies can make up for what I let happen to you. It's unacceptable.”

I shove him off me and put my hand behind my back, “Why is Lector with Rogue and not you?”

Sting sighs, “I chased him off, that's why.”

I'm about to say something, but the words cling to my throat.

“So, where are you going at this hour?”

“Well, I just wanted to tell you that I'm leaving.” I say shakily.

Sting-sama frowns, “Where are you going?”

I touch his cheek and shake my head, “No, I'm leaving the guild.”

His eyes go wide, “You're what? Why? Is this about Yima?”

Tears form in my eyes, “I'm so sorry, but I just-”

“Don't leave Yukino. Please. If you do, I won't be able to live with myself.” Say Sting-sama as tears form in his eyes.

I look down, “Thank you for taking me back. You really didn't have to do that, but you insisted. And thank you for saving me earlier. These are all things I'm eternally grateful for.”

He grabs my shoulders, “No, Yukino! Don't leave me!”

I shake my head, “If you care about me, then you'll let me leave.”

“Did I do something wrong? Whatever is was I'll fix it, promise. Just please don't leave me!”

I sigh and look away, “Please, just stop.”

“Yukino… no, please don't do this to me. I care about you too much to let you just walk out like this!” Protests Sting-sama.

“Sting… I-I-I can't it's too late. I have to go.”

Sting’s eyes go wide, “Just Sting? Not Sting-sama?”

I nod, “Just Sting. That's how important this is to me.”

He sighs, “But… can I at least tell-”

I shake my head and walk out of his apartment, “Good bye Sting.”

Instead of running outside, I run straight to my apartment knowing Sting-sama is not far behind me. As I run into my room, I dash for my window and fling it open. Once I climb out the window, a sharp voice draws my attention.

“Yukino where are you?” Calls a voice belonging to Sting-sama.

I don't respond, instead, I climb out the window and wait for him to find my note.

“Yukino? Are you in here?” Asks Sting-sama as he enters my room.

Tears form in my eyes, “The note. Find the note.” I say in a voice that's barely even audible. I doubt even his ears could hear it.

As he searches around my room a pang of guilt settles in my stomach. I shouldn't be doing this to him. I should have just told him, but I didn't because I'm just a big chicken.

Sting-sama finally notices my note on the bed. He reads it with teary eyes before folding it up and put it in his pocket. Then he runs out of my room.

“Rogue wake up we gotta find Yukino.” I hear him call.

I don't bother sticking around, instead I make my way down the building and towards the cliff at the edge of town.

Dear Sting-sama

      I'm sorry, but I can't keep this up anymore. It's just too much for me to handle. Up until now, I've been lying to myself and to everyone in the guild that I was ok. I'm not. So I've decided to end it. That's right, I'm going to kill myself. There are still so many things I want to tell you so I've tried my best to include them in this note.

I've left my celestial keys in my desk, please give them to Lucy-sama. I'm not a good wizard and I don't deserve them anyway. I'd rather have them be with a wizard that truly sees them as friends.

Also, please understand that none of this is your fault. This is all me, so please don't blame yourself. The last thing I'd want is for you to blame yourself. The only reason I'm doing this is because, I care about you. I've always thought that I was too weak, or too pathetic to deserve you so I kept it to myself. I've always told Rogue-sama about this because I didn't want to trouble you with my own stupid problems. They probably don't even matter right now.

I know this is a lot to take in, and there are still so many things I want to tell you, but I can't.

I'll be at the cliff at the edge of town, but I'll only wait until midnight, after that I'm just giving up because I care about you so much that I'm willing to be persuaded to keep this up. I hope you'll be there.

XOXO,

Yukino.