My Vampire.

Last word

Alissa POV.
"Are you out of your mind?" Dravin says with anger in his voice.
We were both in his room hashing it out about what I wanted. Elu and Eyota went to talk to Gray, Agustine and Maura. Informing them what was going on, and informing the girls and Thorne. I had asked them to convince my parents go away for awhile just until this whole wolf thing blew over. They were in Paris now.
"No, this is what I want, I chose you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, don't you remember? It would happen eventually why not now that we need another strong vampire in the house?" Why is he being like this? I thought he'd be ok with it? Dravin clenched his jaw in anger.
"Because you haven't even lived a life yet Alissa. I don't know what I was thinking." IV felt hurt that he'd even say that.
"Why is that any different than me being a vampire? I can still do all the things I want to do." This was our first fight, I didn't expect it to be over this topic.
"We don't know that, you could miss out on having a family." He said pacing the room.
"I thought you said we could?" I said furrowing my brows.
"I thought so too, but now I don't know." He sat down on the bed and ran his hands through his hair in frustration.
"What do you mean?" I asked confused.
"I'm afraid that if you become a vampire you'd regret not having children." Am I hearing this correctly? I don't even know what to think.
"What? Are you suggesting that we leave each other and just forget about us having a future together? Because I can't do that." I was starting to cry now, I could feel my eyes sting as my throat tightened in pain.
"I LOVE YOU. Don't you get that? Why do I have to keep convincing you that I'm not going to choose a different life. I WANT YOU. I'm not changing my mind so you can either change me now or I'm going to Athena. What about all that stuff you said to me? Don't you love me?" I was concerned about his answer. Would he leave me?
"You know I do." He looks at me pained that I would even ask. He sighs.
  "I just want you to make sure you've thought of everything before you become what I am. It's not easy being a viscous blood sucker who can't always control his actions, I've killed people before." I rolled my eyes.
"If you're trying to scare me into leaving you I'm not going to, not now, not in a million years so just get over it already, because I can't imagine my life without you and I'm not going to, so please just change me already." I'm so tired of going in circles with him.
"Let me ask you one more question and if you really want me to change you I will, I promise." He looked at me intensely.
"Ok what?" I said crossing my arms.
"Do you still want children?"
"Yes of course I do. One day."
"And what happens if we can't after you've turned?" I don't know what I was feeling about that topic but I knew I had to try and help my family.
"That's a risk I'm willing to take, Elu and Eyota need us and I'm not going to turn my back on them just because we're being selfish." I raised my voice at him.
"I'm not. I want to have a family with you, and I'm not going to jeopardize that by making a reckless and rash decision right now." That was it, I'm done talking about this.
"Then I'm going to Athena, she won't say no to me." I got up and headed for the door.
"STOP" He puts himself in between me and the door, he looks down at me and there's something about him that I find irresistible, normally I'd never think of him like that in a split second and I sure as hell wouldn't at a time like this since I was so angry at him. He grabbed my face and pulled it close to his, I could feel his hot breath on my face as he looked into my eyes.
"Then I have no choice. He tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear.
Gray can you come here please?"
"What are you doing?" I said in a panic.
"Shhhh." He whispered, putting his finger on my lips. Gray walked into the room.
"What's going on?" He looked at Dravin with a confused expression.
"I want you to make her forget about what we are." My heart sank, how could he do this? What about our life together? Was he just going to throw that plan away?
"Dravin, are you sure?" Gray looked saddened by his request.
"Do it." He said plainly. No, I can't let him erase my memory.
Gray stepped in front of me, he put his hand on my shoulder and started to speak. I can't let this happen.
"Forget that we're vampires for now, you're not going to change anytime soon, you're ok with this decision." I blinked in confusion. It didn't work, I still know what they are. I shoved Grayson's hand off my shoulder.
"What the hell? I'm not going to forget about this, and I'm sure as hell not ok with it." Dravin and Grayson looked at each other in disbelief.
"Did you do it right?" Dravin asked angrily.
"Yes Dravin I've been doing this a long time and it's always worked, I don't know why it's not now."
"Did she take Alikrisa? Gray asked.
"No I was with her the whole day, and she never does. Could she be unaffected by all our powers? Gray asks.
"Like a block? I don't know. This hasn't happened before. Were they seriously talking about me like I wasn't even there?
"Ambrosia read her mind so I'd say no." Dravin said.
"Athena can read minds too." Gray said sarcastically.
As if I didn't know that. I guess she hasn't tried to read her mind, or she has and isn't saying anything." Dravin huffed in anger.
"Should we ask her?" Gray suggested.
"No it's fine, I know Ambrosia can and that's scary enough." Dravin said.
"Wait, you said that you saw her as a vampire in your visions right?"
"Yeah, So?" Dravin looked at Gray with scrunched brows.
"She is becoming her true self, she isn't going to change her mind Dravin, and she can't be manipulated by our powers. Once she's a vampire she'll be immune to everyone and she'll have powers of her own maybe? I don't know what's going to happen. You should be able to figure this out since you're the one who can see the future." Gray left the room.
"What am I going to do with you?" He said sighing. He gave me a look and I knew exactly what he meant, suddenly I felt the anger lift and I was back to feeling my old self. He picked me up and threw me on the bed kissing me passionately. Trying to remove my clothes. He kissed my neck leaving marks, I could feel my heart racing like a rabbit running for his life. He smelled so good. Like a mixture of cedar and teak. Our fingers intertwined as our hands were above my head. His hot breath on my face. His arms tightly around my waist.
I felt like I couldn't catch my breath, but I didn't break our kiss.
His fingers traced my naked body, making me feel tingles everywhere. This was not like me at all. Did Dravin do something to me? I grabbed his hair and kissed him harder. I felt like I was going to explode. My vision blurry from all the excitement. I felt aggregated that he chose to do this now. To stop our fight by having sex. That's so like him. And I was mad at myself for letting it happen, he took advantage of my vulnerability and I let him.

Next thing I knew, it was morning.
I was still in Dravin's bed and he was gone. I felt like my body had been run over by a truck. I'm still mad at myself for giving in to him after what he tried to do. Tried to take away my memory of what he is.
I walked angrily into the bathroom with a sheet wrapped around me, I looked in the mirror and I saw that my right arm and down my side had bruises. I then remembered that those were from last night. Dravin's grip on me must have been tighter than I remember. Whatever, gives me an excuse to hate him today. I'm so mad at myself and him. I heard Dravin coming up the stairs, he walked into the room with a silver tray with a silver dome that covered the top of the plate, he sat it down on the bed and looked for me. He came into the bathroom and saw me wrapped in a sheet looking at the bruises that he made. He looks at me like I've never seen him before. He was almost in a panic like state.
"Alissa I'm so so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." He says apologetically. He looked scared. I decided I wasn't going to make things worse by making him feel bad. I honestly didn't care about the bruises.
"It's fine, I'm ok." I say not caring. I took a step towards him and he took a step back. I looked at him and frowned.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I don't want to hurt you again." He said looking at the floor.
"Dravin I'm fine, it doesn't hurt." What's his deal? I reached an arm out to him, he took it gently and pulled me in close, I wrapped my arms around his waist inhaling his scent and he brushed my hair from my face. His eyes told me he was truly sorry, I put my hand on his cheek.i honestly didn't think anything of it. Yes he was rough but I didn't care.
"Are you ok?" I asked. He kissed my forehead so gently, I felt his warm breath on my skin. He nodded.
"I just don't want to hurt you. I've. He redirected his words. In the past I hurt someone. I get too carried away sometimes and I don't ever want to do that again. Not with you." He looked genuinely sorry and concerned. I don't see what the big deal is, I'm ok. I thought I was the only girl he'd been with? Was that a lie?
"I thought I was the only one you've ever been with? I pouted. Hearing him say that kinda made me feel dirty. He did lie to me.
"You are, i wasn't with anyone else before you." He said.
"But you just said you hurt someone. What are you talking about if you didn't mean what we just did?" This is getting weird.
"I meant when it comes to drinking blood, sometimes I get a little too carried away. The person I hurt was just a girl, her blood smelled so sweet, I couldn't stop myself and I ended up...." He closed his eyes. Oh I can see what he meant.
"Hey, it's ok. I hugged him again. Don't keep blaming yourself for something that happened a long time ago. It's ok. And so am I." He nodded and collected his thoughts.
"To be honest I kinda liked it." I smiled at him. He smiled to himself.
"You hungry? I made blueberry pancakes."
"You cook?" I asked shocked.
"Only pancakes, so you better get used to them." He smiled.
"That sounds delicious. Let me take a shower and then I'll be out."
"Ok." He says. I turned on the water and let the sheet fall on the floor, I stepped inside and the warm water was so relaxing, I decided to make my shower quick since I was starving. I threw on my clothes and sat next to Dravin, he was already snacking on a piece of blueberry. I picked up a pancake and shoved in in my mouth.
"What no syrup?" He said arching his brow.
"I prefer them without syrup. You're not gonna eat anything but a blueberry?
"I already had breakfast if you know what I mean." He says.
I looked at him confused, and then I understood what he meant.
"Oh, you went into town?" I asked.
"Not exactly, we have some blood here. I didn't want to kill anyone today. He smiled.
"That's good, but it wouldn't bother me if someone really deserved it. I'm sure you'd be doing the world a favor." I smiled.
"You're awesome you know that?" I smiled taking a sip of orange juice.
"I try."
"Most people would have a pretty big opinion on my diet choice but I knew I chose you for a reason" I giggled.
"So when are we going to help Elu and Eyota?" I said. He sighed.
"Alissa I thought we discussed this, I'm not turning you yet." I started to get mad.
"And I thought I told you that I'm not going to change my mind. Even Gray said I wasn't. And you deflected our conversation by having sex with me." I was so mad now. Rage wasn't even the word to describe how I felt.
"I'm sorry about that, I shouldn't have taken advantage of you in that moment. But I really don't want to have this conversation again." He said getting up.
"Then for the love of god change me already so we can stop talking about it!" I snapped at him. He stormed out of the room.
I'm just going to have to go to Athena she won't say no and I'm not going to change my mind either. This is my choice and I'll have to live with it. I hope she agrees with me.