My Vampire.

Feeling guilty.

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't posted in awhile. I've been having health issues and I'm figuring out what to do and haven't had the time to edit. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thanks for being patient. Xoxo💕💜

I knew what I had to do. And even though things were crazy I still wanted my parents here. But I can't be selfish right now, or risk blowing everyone's cover. It's best for everyone that my parents never find out about anything.

It was morning and Dravin and I still weren't speaking. I missed his presence terribly, but after what happened yesterday I didn't know if I could ever go back to feeling normal about our relationship. Or about how he feels about us. Even though deep down I know he's truly sorry and didn't mean anything he said. I can't stop replaying his words inside my mind.
"I never want to see your face again."
"I don't know if I want to be a father."
"A fragile little human."
I have to keep telling myself it wasn't him saying those things. He'd never intentionally hurt me like that. But the bruises on my arms and the bite mark on my neck said otherwise. I just need some time alone. I decided to call my mom and tell her not to come home. I certainly won't be telling her about Dravin's episode.
"Hi sweetheart." I heard my mom say on the other end.
"Mom."
"Alissa, what's wrong?" I closed my eyes and tried my best not to tell her everything.
"Nothing is wrong. I just need to ask you for a favor."
"Oh, you scared me honey, I thought you were hurt or something." She's always been dramatic. I rolled my eyes.
"No mom I'm fine. Listen I was thinking, and maybe it's not such a good idea you come back so early." She's going to think something is up for sure.
"What? Why?" I could hear the hurt in her voice.
"Well umm, it's just that I was wondering if you could maybe stay for another week?" I bit my lip in anticipation. I hate this.
"Why? Don't you miss us?" She sounded a little upset.
"Of course I do mom, it's just I need you to stay another week." Maybe longer.
"Can you at least tell me why?" She asked not taking no for an answer.
"I can't tell you, I'm sorry but I just can't." I didn't know what else to say to try and convince her.
"Are you sick honey?" I pinched the bridge of my nose.
"Please just promise me that you'll stay another week? I promise it's only for a week." I held my breath waiting for her answer.
"Ok honey, we'll stay another week, but you're scaring me, after that we're coming home to see our daughter. No if's and's or but's."
"Everything is fine mom I promise, and that's all I'm asking for. I'll see you sometime next week." I tried so hard so not break down and cry.
"I love you Alli." She said sweetly.
"I love you too mom." I struggled even more to fight back tears. I ended the call and broke down crying on the bedroom floor. I wanted my mom here with me more than anything, but it's too dangerous for them to know the truth or see me pregnant. They'd know the math didn't add up and they'd ask further questions that I didn't want to answer. Why was this my life now? Why is it so frustrating at times? All the secrecy. It's too much. My thoughts were interrupted and I heard a knock on the door.
"Come in." I said. I wiped away my tears quickly and fixed my hair. It was Dravin, he peeked his head in the door. His eyes were beautiful emerald green again. I cried even harder when I saw him. I stretched out my arms to touch him. He came in and grabbed me, hugging me tightly in his arms as I cried in his chest.
"I am so sorry for all those horrible things I said to you. You are my everything and I love you so much. I wasn't myself and I should have never taken my anger out on you. Please forgive me?" His voice was calm and soothing. All I could do was nod through my tears. He kissed my forehead and held me tightly. I composed myself enough to tell him I missed him.
"I missed you so much. Don't leave me again." I hugged him tighter.
"Never." He said. This time he kissed me. It was a soft and gentle kiss. I missed him so much even if we were apart for one night.
"Thorne told me you went to see my mom?" He said rubbing my back. I sniffled.
"Yeah, she examined me and said that I have to decide on what to do." He looked at me and frowned.
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"The babies are almost at full term, even though I'm only technically 3 months pregnant. We have to decide whether or not I want a caesarean or a natural birth before the babies get too big and I have to have an emergency C section." I was scared. I didn't know what to do.
"Liliana said that you had at least 5 months, I don't understand." He said.
"I don't know what to say, but one thing I know for sure is that the babies are coming soon."
"Ok, what do you want to do?" He asked.
"I want a natural birth, if I can prevent a C section than that's what I want." I was going to try and do things the natural way. I didn't want to be cut open as harsh as that sounds. I just hope everything goes well. The look on Dravin's face said he was a little nervous about my decision but went alone with it to make me feel supported with my choice.
"Then that's what I want. Your way." He smiled.
"Thank you." I said. He kissed my hand.
"Why didn't you tell me your mom is like a medicine woman? She told me you didn't approve of her methods but i don't understand why?" I asked him.
"She uses our blood to heal whomever needs it, but she doesn't understand that it's too risky for us to be healing people of all their ailments and diseases. People would start to talk if everyone of mom's patients were healed without any trace of illness. I don't want anyone to ask too many questions about our family and how we don't seem to age or why we can heal everyone. I'm only trying to protect our family from getting experimented on." I understand his reasons.
"But she only uses your blood if her other remedies don't succeed, at least she tries to help people live instead of just shunning them and saying sorry can't help you." I tried defending his mom.
"My mother is a very compassionate woman, she'll always try to do good and try to help as many people as she can because she has the power to heal people. I only wish she'd be more careful."
"I'm sure she's careful, she knows better. Besides she knows how to deliver a baby so that's a plus, I'd be scared without her. We need her." I said. He nodded his head.
"I'm worried about you." He said looking at me.
"Why? I'll be ok." I rubbed his cheek.
"What if something happens to you? What if you die? I can't live without you, our babies can't live without you. you're my everything. I should have known better. I've put you at risk. I won't go through what your uncle went through. We both lost Dakota. I can't go through something like that again." He started to get teary eyed. Which made my heart ache.
"Hey, nothing is going to happen, women have been having babies for centuries. It's going to be ok." I said.
"But you're having two half vampire babies, the vampire part is stronger and it's really dangerous and I'm just scared I'm going to loose you, especially when I'm the one who put you in this situation." We both got us in this situation not just him. But I didn't want to argue.
"If something does happen, I need you to promise me something." I said.
"Anything." I started to cry.
"Please have Gray erase my parents memories of me, they can't live happily if I'm gone. It'll destroy them." He nodded and fought back tears.
"And please take care of our babies. They'll need you." A few tears escaped from his eyes but he nodded yes.
"I promise." He kissed my hand.
I started remembering what Dravin said when he was acting the way he was.
"Can I ask you something? It's been bothering me. He nodded. Are you really not happy about being a dad? Are you scared you'll not be a good father?"  I asked scared he'd say no. He looked shocked.
"What? How could you think that?" He said confused.
"Because you said you were scared and you weren't sure you wanted to be a dad anymore." I looked down at the floor.
"I said that?" He looked hurt that he'd even think about that. I nodded.
"I don't remember. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that at all, I would never mean that ever. I am so happy, and you have no idea how excited I am to be a father." His words were sincere. His eyes glistened bright emerald green like they used to. He's telling the truth. That made me even more happy and a little bit more relaxed.
"I'm glad you're happy. Because I can't do this without you." I said holding his hand tightly in mine.
"You won't have to because I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." He said softly.
"Good. Please don't ever let yourself get like that again, you really scared me."
"I'm so sorry baby. I promise. I don't want you to ever have to see me like that again." He kissed my hand.
"It's ok, we all have our flaws." I said reassuringly.
"Thanks for trusting me again, I was so scared that I'd lost you and the babies forever. As soon as Thorne came in and snapped me out of my episode I felt terrible for almost hurting you."
"You could never loose me. Ever. And I forgive you." I said looking into his beautiful green eyes. The ones I missed.
"I called my mom and told her and my dad to stay another week, because the babies will be here in the next couple of days, or sooner." I said nervously. His eyes widened like he had just remembered something.
"We don't even have the nursery set up yet. What are we going to do? He asked. We don't even have any baby stuff, what were we thinking?"
"Who's the one stressing now?" I laughed.
"I've been so busy helping Elu I completely forgot about getting things we needed. I'm sorry babe."
"It's ok Dravin, really, we'll figure something out." I said. We really should have prepared more for the babies arrival.
"Now who's the one being brave?" He said. I smiled at him and he kissed my cheek.
"How have our babies been treating you? I hope they haven't been too rough on you." He rubbed my bump.
"They've been ok, except for the other night while you were gone I had pain that lasted for about 30 seconds. Turns out one of their feet is pushing on my spleen. I laughed slightly. Thorne was with me though so I wasn't as scared."
"What? Why didn't you tell me?" He frowned.
"I didn't want you to worry while you were with Elu and Eyota, you needed to focus on them." I'm glad I waited to tell him. He would have dropped everything for me and I knew he needed to be with them.
"Still you should have told me, I'd like to know if you're in pain or feeling sick." He said.
"You're right I should have told you. I'm sorry."
"It's ok, just tell me next time so I can help you." He brushed my cheek softly.
"Have you decide on names yet?" He asked.
"I have." I said smiling .He looked at me like (Aren't you going to tell me?)
"What?" I asked playfully.
"Do I get to know what our children's names are or are you going to keep it from me and I'll end up calling them Baby one and Baby two?" I laughed. "With everything that's been going on I want to surprise you. I want this one thing to be a surprise. It'll be a surprise for both of us since i don't know what we're having either and I don't know if we'll get to use both names I picked.
"I forgot about that." He said.
"How could you forget? Do you just assume what we were having?" I laughed.
"No, I just don't care what we have, just as long as their healthy and have twenty little fingers and twenty little toes, that's all that matters." That made my heart melt.
"You're so cute." I said pinching his cheek. He fake gasped.
"WHAT? Me cute? I beg to differ. I'm a badass vampire who is incredibly handsome and you find me irresistibly sexy." He ruffled his fingers through his hair because he knows I can't help myself when he does that. I shook my head. "You're crazy. I only find you somewhat sexy." I joked.
"Oh really? He smirked. Maybe I can change that." He starts kissing me softly, placing soft kisses on my neck and jaw and up to my ear. He whispers.
"Why is it that I find you more and more beautiful everyday?" I felt tingles all over my body. His words were like honey. Making me melt into a pile of nothing. He then pulls away from me in a state of shock.
"Dravin what's wrong?" I asked.
"I just had a vision. I haven't had one in so long."
"What did you see?" I asked. He looks at me with sad eyes and that makes my heart drop.
"What?" I ask.
"I saw you giving birth and you were in so much pain, and I couldn't help you. You were screaming for me and I was right there with you but you kept asking for me." He looked terrified.
"Hey, it's going to be ok. I promise. I will be fine." I tried my best to reassure him but I was now really scared.
"Everyone will help us. I'll be in good hands with your mom helping me deliver the babies." He nodded.
"Let's try and think positive thoughts. Just keep thinking good things will happen and everything will work out. Ok?" I cupped his cheek. He nodded and smiled slightly.
"I promise to think positively. Everything will be ok." He said. I just hope what he saw doesn't happen.