Chapter 5 - Nina, Pretty Ballerina (The Surprise)

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1969


She had grown colder, and began to realize the real world of a woman at age 22, had had her second child, and it was as if a great door in her mind had abruptly opened. Was it only used? Or did he really love her? Did he feel love for his children? Was she just a young girl?
She was more than that, she was an incredible mother and woman, she was strong and her personality told her everything.

"Ragnar, can you come here, please?" I need to wash those numerous Ann-Lise clothes that have become dirty from the ebb. She does not calm down, and Hans can not sleep. Frida said loudly, coaxing her blond hair, taking one suit at a time, turning it into a huge pile, putting the tiny Lotta in the cradle.

Ragnar had barely arrived in her bedroom, and was already snorting, as if tired. Did he understand anything about being a mother and having a reflux of milk in all her clothes?

"I do not understand, it's me who's tired." said Frida, putting her hands on her waist as she stared at him enraged. "What the fuck, I'm a mother. And I need to be doing everything, do you think it's easy for me? Deal with all this alone, while I need to rehearse for the shit shows we've been doing? Do you think I'm happy, Ragnar? Since when is this a wedding? You ask how I am, how do I feel? By the way, do you know who I really am? I'm not your maid! said Frida, speaking loudly, stamping her feet on the floor and gesturing to leave her cheeks red, her eyes glittering as if they were setting fire. She was stressed.
Anni-Frid, calm down. Your revolt about being a mother is not my problem. By the way, our marriage is sinking because of you. Do not discount your problems with me, I do not deserve this. Whoever wants to have the second child was you, and you who will have to bear the consequences and the wrinkles that this will give you. I know you do not Love Me! Ragnar said in a low, irritated tone, closing the door to the children's room so they would not hear the argument. Hans was hiding under the covers, while Lise began to cry in a shrill sound.

- How will I calm down? You will have to bear that! You are their father, father of my children! My problems? It's not just mine. You're at it too! You are my big problem. I can not be the woman I'd like to be, because of your fucking rules. I do not want my children to be living in this situation, they do not deserve it. Frida gestured quickly, her nerves and stress trailing every millimeter of her blood, making her sweat and her coke undo, revealing a figure even Ragnar did not know.
"Do you love me, Anni-Frid?" Was I just a source to get you out of your hole? Ragnar said, head down, not paying attention to the problems Frida had spit in his face.
Frida was silent for a few minutes, and finally looked at him.
"I loved the figure I invented from you. You're the father of my children and you're still the man who lives in the same house as me, but I believe nothing more. I'm tired, Ragnar. Weary. That's it! Frida lowered her angry tone, lighting the low hallway light as she stared at him statically.
"Okay, I do not need to hear anything. Ragnar swallowed dryly, opening the bedroom door slowly. "You can go wash the clothes, I'll keep them here if you prefer the clothes than my company." he said with a shrug.

Frida hesitated to say something, raised her hands and frowned, but it was not worth it, so she marched down the stairs with those dirty, baby-scented clothes.
She lit a cigarette, two, three. Drank whiskey to the sound of your beloved jazz ..

1974 •

• 1974 •

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