Daybreak|| Jasper Hale {1}

Chapter Eleven

 

August 1861

  I'd spent the better part of the last week finding excuses to be around Jasper. I volunteered to do my father's deliveries , and on top of that I could be seen nearly everyday at the soldier's camp with some sort of sweet. Pies, cakes, rolls, I'd brought them all with a grin on my face, happy to spend even a few minutes with the kind major. When it came time to say my final goodbyes i was the one practically running across town to get to Charlotte's estate, my face splitting into a large grin when Charlotte opened the door.

   I was uncharacteristically excited, and Charlotte told me that much when I yanked at her hand to pull her along with me.

"My my, Anne, you've gone wild." Charlotte said with a laugh as we ran through town and weaved around shops to get to the woods, the august sun streaming down on us in beams of gold. We reached the clearing that the soldiers had nestled themselves into quite quickly,and they seemed to be on the tail end of packing things up.

  Jasper was the one who found me, and my face fell upon seeing him. Despite how excited I was to see him, this was the last time I would see him for now, possibly forever. He picked up on my mood quite quickly.

  "What's got you all sour?" He asked, a frown now decorating his handsome face. He didn't like seeing me upset I realized.

"It's silly, but in my excitement to see you again I'd almost forgotten that this was my goodbye." I confessed, looking at the ground, and Jasper took a step towards me, lifting my face up gently so that I was looking him in the eye.

  "Don't make it a goodbye." he suggested, a dimple appearing on his face as he smiled at me. I liked that suggestion. Though we hardly knew each other, Jasper had become a friend to me in the short time we'd known each other, and though it was upsetting to see him go, I knew that we'd have letters.

"Write to me." I practically demanded of him, my brown eyes wide as I looked up at him, and he dropped his hand from my face as he realized how wildly inappropriate this looked.

"Of course." he said softly, and I gave him a gentle kiss on his cheek before turning to find Charlotte. The entire walk home, I reminisced about what could've been if Jasper didn't have to leave so early.

  My birthday came around several days after the soldiers had left, and Charlotte insisted that I spend the day at her manor with her. Pa agreed that it would be a good idea, so I went over for tea, dressed in some of my best clothing. Though Charlotte's family wasn't very preoccupied with their wealth, I still tried to look as presentable as possible in front of them.

  I wore my favourite teal dress with a nice stay, the material poofing out in all of the right ways, and my back completely straight as I took a seat next to Charlotte, across from her mother. Ms.Livingston had always been very kind to me, and she smiled warmly at me as their maid set out our tea, and I mixed two sugar cubes into it. "Happy Birthday Leanne, it's not everyday a girl turns-"

  "Twenty." I supplied for her, and her face puckered up slightly.

  "Not quite a girl anymore then." Ms.Livingston said, and I nodded my head. Caroline Livingston was a pretty woman, every bit as beautiful as her radiant daughter. She kept her golden hair plaited in intricate styles at all times, and I doubted that she knew how to do them herself. The Livingstons had always kept servants, and it made me extremely uncomfortable. It had taken years of begging to let the family do things on my own when I was around them. Though they were relaxed about their wealth, they were used to it, and all of the perks that came with it. "Have you thought about taking a husband yet?" She asked, and Charlotte stopped stirring her tea to look at me expectantly.

  I sipped my tea for a moment as the two women stared at me, and I had a feeling that this was what the conversation was really supposed to be about. "Only in passing."

  "You don't want to end up an old spintress Anne, you're far too pretty for that. You haven't had anyone ask you for your hand yet?" I knew that Charlotte was trying to help, but it was doing more harm than good. I knew I had to start thinking about it, as the next two years would be prime marrying time. Though a few of the boys in town had asked for my hand, Pa had always consulted with me before giving anyone an answer, and mine was the same every time.

    "Our family has been speaking to your father-" Ms.Livingston started, and I knew this couldn't be going anywhere good, especially with the current topic. "And he agrees that our Henry would be a good match for you, if you'd take him. You'd obviously have more time to get acquainted with each other before anything was expected of you."

  My head felt too light and I was forced to put a foot on the ground to keep the room from spinning violently around me.

It was something I'd never thought of before. Henry wasn't the worst choice possible. He had Charlotte's fair complexion and Mr.Livingston's dark hair. He was attractive enough, though Charlotte despised him.

Henry was a recluse. The only person he spoke to on a regular basis was his father. The most likely cause of his reclusive nature was his sickness, which had left him weak since birth. It had saved him from enlisting though, which had to have been something he was grateful for. Throughout all of my years of friendship with Charlotte I'd barely had a word with the boy. He was only four years older than I, which wasn't bad by any notion. Yet, my attempts at justification gave my distaste away to myself. If I was for the arrangement, I wouldn't have to convince myself.

Though the looming thought of a certain blond major was impacting my choice, it was hardly my only reason. Henry, though attractive, was repulsive to me. His personality put me off far too much.

And yet, a position with the Livingstons, bound to my best friend forever...how much would I be willing to put up with for that?

In hindsight it shouldn't have been a thought I entertained for more than a second, but I'll be the first to admit that I am changed. Naivety and helplessness had clung to me like a second skin, though I was in a far better position than most at my time would've been in.

I was willing to do anything to cling to my best friend though. Charlotte was my bravery and my freedom, at least at the time.

  "May I be excused for a moment?" I asked, my pale face prompting Ms.Livingston to send Charlotte after me as I took a moment to myself in Charlotte's room, pondering over the impossible choice in front of me.