Amnesia

19

-Melody's POV

I remained in my car as I contemplated the outcome that would be, once I tell them everything that happened at the park.

I came to the conclusion that if I do tell them that Calum seen me and Luke together, and chances are were on a break right now, I'd never hear the end of them saying he was never right for me, and may jip me on part of the agreement. 

2.) They will call it all off. Which means no money, no freedom and worst of all no Calum.

I finally got out the car, once I realized that both of them were here.

Unlocking the door, I mad my way into the living room, attempting to get past my parents with out any questioning.

 Mission accomplished.

I walked up stairs into my room, feeling as if no energy was left in my body.

Once there, I quickly took off my clothes, to put on one of Calum's band shirts.

I felt a need, a desire to be close to him, even though at the moment I couldn't.

I layed in bed, crying as if everything has just happened seconds ago.

"Calum.. I'm so sorry...." I cried out softly. "I should of just told you everything the second I agreed to it."

It's true. I should f, instead of lying to the only guy that has ever made me feel happy or yet meaningful.

Usually when I'm sad, or upset I'd call Cal, and he'd come over to take me to drink it all away at our place.

But not this time... I gotta figure how to take it away all by myself..... 

The only way I had known for years, but stopped for a consecutive number of months, a year even.

I couldn't go back that road again...

I made a promise to myself and most importantly  to Calum.

But maybe just one cut wouldn't hurt.....

I cautiously got up from the bed, and my way over to my desk, where I secretly kept a pain reliever...

"Maybe it's still there." I thought.

I set in the chair and slowly pulled out the first drawer.

Nothing but hair ties and extra make up brushes

Closing the first drawer, I went to the second one.

This one was filled with colored pencils, pens, and sharpies

Fuck.

I opened up the last drawer in hope for what I was looking for, but a green notebook layed in there by itself.

I pulled it out confused on who's it was? I know for a fact that it wasn't mine.

As it came out the drawer, my razor dropped to the floor, and following behind it was a pen.

I was too intrigued on the mystery book, to get my razor at the moment.

The front page was covered in doodles of the Nirvana smiley faces, Green Day's heart grenade and my name written in cursive followed by a sloppy heart.

How long has this been here?

I smoothed my hand over the cover and smiled,

I knew whose this was now. 

Calum

I went back over to my bed and sat down, flipping it to the front page.