First Snow~ ||J.J.K|| {COMPLETED} [EDITING]

❄19❄

❄❄❄

I just got home, and I feel cold as ever.

Everything feels so surreal for me, everything was too much to me.

Heading straight to my room without even greeting my hyungs, I let my numb body fall from my bed.

Staring at my ceiling as the scene earlier again played inside my head making me wince

•••••••••••

"W- What do you mean?"
I ask my hands were still cupping your face.

"You know that we can't be together right?"
You said as your voice tremble, not really sure if it was out of the coldness.

"W- Why?"
And there I ask the most dumbest question.

Off course we can't, we can't, I am still an Idol, and I can't just hooked up with girls randomly even if its the one I....

love.

"I know you know the answer"
You said as you smile faintly while tears where still running from your pretty eyes, you then hold my hand who where cupping your face as you plant a soft kiss in it making my heart flutter a little.

I can feel my body tremble at the words you just said to me.

How? Why? How could you? You just said you love me? But how could you leave me?

Please don't leave me.

My brain scream those words, but I feel like a lump form on my throat blocking out the words I want you to hear.

No please don't leave me, I lo-

"Thank you Jungguk-ah, for those times you spent with me, I will surely treasure those memories with you, I will not make this harder for you.

So I should Go"
You said as you remove my hand cupping from your cheeks.

I watch you, as you take a step away from me.

I watch you, as you put my mask back to cover my face.

I watch you, as you bow down at me biding a goodbye.

I watch you pretending to be strong in front of me as you try to hold your cries.

I watch you...

As you leave me under this first snow, under this cold first snow.

My heart clenched at the scene of you walking away from me...

I feel like my world just crumpled into pieces, watching you painfully walking away from me.

My cheesecake, my strawberry cheesecake.

I want to call you and run after you.

But as I take a small step I gave up as I can feel like any moment soon my legs will fail me and will lead me in falling on the ground.

I feel like I loose my energy.

I feel like my feet becomes jelly as it gets wobbly.

Please...

I may be sound selfish right now but don't do this to me, don't....

leave me.

I bite my lips painfully as I tried to bottled up my feelings.

Trying to control my tears.

It hurts, I know its not your fault but it hurts.

I want to shout and cry.

I want to hold you in my arms.

I want you near me but I know I can't.

•••••••••••••

Opening my eyes I can feel something wetting my skin, and as I travel my hands I can feel tears.

And I whimper, as I try to hold my cries muffling it with my pillow.

Damn! Why its have to be me, why its have to be you.

You are too perfect to feel this kind of pain.

You are too perfect to have to hurt like this.

You are too perfect...

But still I can't have you..

Bet you are now hurt more than I am.

You hurt me but I am still thinking about how hurt you are right now.

Off course I know you are in pain, maybe times two than what I am feeling right now, cause I can understand you.

I can.

I can feel how sad you are right now and how you just tried to act strong in front of me, you are such a strong girl that is why I admired you so much.

That is why I loved you.

*******

It's going to end~