"Pace yourself, Danny"
I repeat inside my head
Feeling the aching in my feet
Knowing I dragged myself along through the hall ways at school remembering last night
I almost did it
I was so close until I got a text
Asking.. how I was doing and how they were sorry we didn't talk as much anymore..
So close.. too close
I didn't
I kept a pop tab in my mouth
Moving it around
Hoping it would cut my tongue
Or the inside of my cheek
It never did
I sit up not able to look anywhere but down
I feel my hands shake uncontrollably as I scream silently hoping for a reply.. from somebody
Anybody
Even if it was from that guy talking to me just to get pics of my body..
I almost did it last night
And I can't forget
I tremble slowly walking downstairs
Feeling the air change and the darkness consume my skin
I click on the light looking around slowly inching towards the washer room
Looking over on the table I see a box cutter
...a box cutter..
Almost like the one I have hidden in my room for those nights I just can't stand to only feel emotional pain
Remembering I almost did it
I almost relapsed
After months of being clean
I almost took the shiny blade and ran it across my paper skin
I.. kept walking hearing the faint noises of the tv upstairs
But then everything faded..
I heard the ticking in my head start again
So I mimicked it by tapping on the dryer hoping it would stop and go away
But as I always think, "Something doesn't tick right in his brain."
Tick tick tick tick tick
I hear the memories coming back
Pine tree
Tick
Tick
Tick
Tick
Persons
Tick
Tick
Blue bird
Sex
W
La la
Tree
Cluck
Persons
Kitten
...kitten..
