Heartbroken [Completed] [Wattys 2019]

4

A/N thoughts in this chapter are going to be in italics. There's some pretty sensitive stuff in here so please be careful if this is too close to you. Other than that, Read on!

*Percy

  It was nice that Nico came to check on me. Until I remembered, Oh hey, Nico hates me! I killed his sister! He was probably forced to come by Jason...

  But that means Jason wanted to check on you? No, Jason just wanted to feel good about himself, kind of like donating to a charity. But in this case, I'm the charity.

  Leo was there too? Yeah, because he's always with Jason. He doesn't care about you either.

  I took a deep breath and tried to shut down my thoughts. But I couldn't, they just wouldn't shut up and leave me alone.

  It started off with just events of today. People dont really care about me. They only feel obligated to check on me, to make themselves feel good. They dont like me. But then it got into worse stuff, the stuff thats been going through my brain ever since the breakup and i started being unable to breathe. No one likes me. No one would care about if I did something. If I left, maybe even died. Why would they care? I'm useless. Pointless. Worthless. I should just take myself out of their lives, make it easier for them. Nico, Jason, and Leo wouldn't care. I never even see Hazel or Frank at Camp Jupiter. I was never a good enough person to get close to Piper. I already betrayed Annabeth by breaking up with her and i wasnt good enough before which is why she wanted to end it. Whats stopping me? Coward.

  Before I even registered what was happening, a razor balde was in my hand and there were cuts dripping blood on my arm, joining the ones that had scabbed and scarred. Even realising what I had done, i didnt stop. I deserved this. This was the only thing that felt right anymore.

  Now your probably thinking, Percy's depressed? Impossible! But no, i was abused in every way possible as a kid and went through actual Hell, so very possible. I was diagnosed with it at the age of 5 and have cut since the age of 12. Im not proud but ive hidden it well. Plus, i cant afford therapy. I can barely afford my meds.

  However, it's only gotten worse recently, with recovering from a war and Taurtarus and the flashbacks and stuff and now with the breakup its just multipled.

  It would be so easy. Who would miss me? Im not important to anyone. Im easily replaceable. Expendable. There is nothing holding me here except my own cowardice.

  With these thoughts, the razor began pushing deeper into my arm yet i didnt feel anything. I was numb. Numb to everything except for the voice yelling at me to kill myself... my own voice.

*Nico

I had to help Percy. Something was up. No one just loses all their motivation like that, not without an outside factor, like a loss of loved one, injury, or illness.

  But the way he described, not wanting to do anything and just feeling... done... That was how i had felt when bianca first died. After I ran away from camp i spent a couple days doing nothing because i just had no motivation.

  Except for Percy I think this feeling would be worse. Especially with his ADHD, its crazy to think of him not doing something at all times.

Should I go check on him again? Or would that be weird and creepy? But what could he be doing? He wouldnt hurt himself would he? No of course he wouldnt he's a hero? But a broken one...

  My feet were walking to his cabin by their own accord and i didnt stop myself when i immediately knocked. No answer. Knock again. Still nothing.

  "Percy? You in there? You okay?"

  There was no response. I know i was probably overreacting but I shadow-traveled into his room in an act of desperation. What I saw shocked me.

*Percy

  I heard knocking but didnt answer. They knocked but i still didnt answer, hoping they would leave me alone but they didnt. I found out 'they' was Nico when he asked if I was okay. I still didnt say anything, not leaving from where i was slumped on the floor against my bed.

  I heard a minute of silence so I just assumed he left but then i heard a small gasp. That f*ucker (A/N sorry for the language if that bothers anyone!)! He shadow traveled into my room.

  I quickly jumped up and threw on a sweatshirt to cover my bloody arms but the damage was done. Nico had already seen it.

  "P-Percy?.. Why?" And with that I stumbled back and fell against the bed, the world starting to spin. I heard Nico yelling for Will before I felt him come over, crying, and grab me by the shoulders before shaking me softly, "why..?" And then everything went black.

A/N
Hey everyone! Heres another chaoter for you. It took a little longer to come out bc it was really hard to write Percy's thoughts bc i was basically just writing down mine so it was kinda personal but it's fine!!
Also, how do I know if its my views or other peoples? Asking for a friend. Please comment to help me improve and tell me things you want to see in this story. Also tell your friends about this! Love you all and remember to love yourself! <3