Heartbroken [Completed] [Wattys 2019]

5

*Percy
  i woke up in the infirmary, no lights on. I don't know how I got here or why i'm here. All i know if that i feel awful.

  "You're awake!" The lights were turned on and I groaned at the sudden headache it gave me. "Oh, sorry, you  probably feel terrible." I looked over and saw that the voice belonged to Will.

  "When your feeling up to it, me and Chiron both need to talk to you but it doesn't have to be today."

  Already, my depressing thoughts were invading my brain even though i couldn't remember what happened to get me here.

  They don't like me. They need to talk to me just so can kick me out so they never have to see me again. Your worthless to them. You don't deserve-

"Percy? You okay?" Wills words cut off my thoughts and i just shrugged in response. But then I was suddenly reminded by his words of what happened to land me here.

  "No..." I whispered and looked at my arms: covered in bandages with a little bit of blood soaking through.

  Will grimaced. "Yeah, I gave you as much ambrosia and nectar as I could but i couldn't risk giving you more. Water didn't heal you either for some reason" I just nodded. "Um, i'm going to go get Nico he wanted to see you as soon as you woke up. Is that okay?"

  I just shrugged. When Will walked out the door, I could hear kids going about their activities. Something I would probably not be allowed to do for a while...

*Nico

  When Will showed up at my door it was kinda awkward because of... what happened. But as soon as he started speaking, it all disappeared.

  "Percy's awake."

  I ran out the door in a dead sprint to the infirmary. When I got there, Percy was sitting up in bed, staring at his forearms- or well, the bandages covering them. He didn't even look up when i entered.

  "Hey Percy." He still said nothing. I went over and sat on his bed and he moved his arms under the blankets, as if hiding them. I could tell that even that small movement caused his injured arms quite a bit of pain. "How's it goin'?"

  He looked at me as if I was crazy and yeah, it was a stupid question but I had to get him to talk somehow. So, naturally, my next step was to talk his ear off until he told me to shut up.

  "Well, I'm doing okay I guess but the past couple days have been boring. You missed a really good game of capture the flag, it was me and Jason with the Hephaestus cabin against everyone and we won but it was a really good fight. Yesterday was also Drew's birthday so there was a small party but you should have seen the cake, it was huge and I honestly had never seen such a hideous shade of pink before. It was really-"

  "How long?" I almost gasped in shock at the sound of his voice. I was just really startled that he spoke but then his voice sounded like his mouth was made of sandpaper from disuse and not drinking.

  "What did you say?" I asked when I recovered from my shock. "And do you want something to drink?" I said, already getting up.

  He quickly shook his head no, so i sat back down as he said, "I asked how long? How long have I been in here?"

  "About 2 days." 

  He looked away for a second before asking another question. "And who knows?"

  "We tried to keep it from most people but all of the doctors know and so does Chiron but we told everyone else that you were attacked by a monster."

  "Who's 'we'?"

  "Oh... me and Will." I responded with a slight blush.

  Percy nodded before responding, "Will's an okay guy. I hope he treats you well."

  I blushed even darker and looked away as I responded, "Me and Will broke up."

  *Percy

  I was super shocked at the news, I thought Will and Nico had a strong relationship. But under my shock there was a small voice that said Nico's single. "Oh. Well if you want to talk about it i'll listen."

  Nico looked like he might explode at my words and he started talking really fast. "Percy, don't try to reassure me, your literally here for trying to kill yourself yet you want to listen to my problems that really don't matter right now but your still trying to help me when i should be helping you and honestly-"

  He stopped when he saw my face. "Ohmygod I'm so sorry please don't cry."

  "I'm fine," I choked out before a tear slipped down my face. Hearing someone say it out loud, that, yes, I did try to kill myself, made it so much more real. 

  "Percy, I'm so sorry."

  "No, your fine. Really," I said, forcing myself to stop crying. "But, seriously, if you want to tell me what happened, i will listen."

  Nico bit his lip before replying, "Fine. So basically, me and Will have been getting on each others' nerves lately and just not really wanting to spend time together. So when you were put here, I was super worried, right, cause I was the one that found you and some other stuff, so naturally I wanted to visit you to make sure you were okay. And Will thought I was ignoring him and choosing you over him and so it was just the last straw. He ended it yesterday afternoon."

  "Oh," was the only response I had before the horn suddenly sounded, signaling the harpies wold starting eating campers in 5 minutes.

  "Oh. That means I've gotta go. See ya tomorrow, Percy." I nodded my head as he jogged back to his cabin, leaving me alone to my thoughts.

  Great job, idiot. I also messed up Nico's relationship. So not only am I worthless, I literally make things worse. I do that with everything. I made Annabeth unhappy, my blood woke up Gaia, if I wasn't alive both those prophecies wouldn't have happened! Worthless. Useless. pointless. Better off dead. No one needs me. Nico has his new best friend, Jason. Jason has Nico, Leo, and Piper. Leo has Calypso, someone else I failed to help, and Jason and Piper. Piper has Jason. Hazel and Frank have each other. And Annabeth has Piper and that new Apollo kid she's talking to. No one needs me. I'm expendable. Replaceable.

  I was suddenly on my feet and looking through the cabinets for something that would work. An outlet. A way to turn this emotional pain, which I couldn't handle, into physical pain, which I could. As soon as I found a scalpel I turned back to go back to my bed. 

  I sat down and undid my bandages before pressing the knife into my skin. Just not deep enough to kill me. By the time I was done, my arms were once again dripping blood. I re-wrapped the bandages and cleaned the scalpel before putting it back and laying down in my bed to attempt to sleep.

  As my eyes closed, the pain in my arms lulling me into a sick sense of comfort, my thoughts once again turned to the fact of Will and Nico's breakup, though I don't know why.

A/N 

Hey everyone. Here's another chapter. this one was again kinda hard to write cause it was personal but something about writing this also makes it easier for me to deal with? idk. But hat do you guys think? good chapter?

But what do you guys think so far, overall? Please tell me how to improve. Remember to keep reading and spread the word about this book. Also is this too depressing? Cause if it is I will change it a little bit.

Also, completely unrelated topic, any twenty one pilots fans out there? I'm hoping to go to a concert but idk

Anyway, remember to love yourself and keep on living. There's dogs/ cats and ice cream and books and people to keep living for. Because, trust me, people would miss you if you left. i promise that things will get better <3