*all rights to the original author*
I didn’t come home for two days. I didn’t mean to cause my parents a world of worry, but I needed some space. I mean, I did just become an arsonist. That’s a lot to wrap your head around for someone my age. Plus, all these events happening in my life lately had dredged up a past I’d spent the last year and a half trying to forget.
I had never really come to terms with what happened to Vero; I simply buried it. Telling Lauren the truth, actually saying it out loud, forced me to deal with the fact that I was responsible for taking a life. I hated to use the term murderer, but how else do you describe what I did?
After nearly two days of thinking about it, though, I finally found a little clarity and went home to face the music.
I’ve never seen my parents quite like they were. I don’t exactly know how to describe it, but angry is not the right word. It doesn’t seem like nearly enough. I let them yell and cry and hug and kiss me until they had it all out of their systems. Then, once they’d settled down, the only thing I could think to say was "I’m sorry."
"You could have told us about Vero," my mom whimpered.
"I couldn’t. You loved her too. Everybody loved her! And I killed her!" After that my mother and I were bawling in each other’s arms again. My father stepped in quickly, though, not wanting to lose focus on the point of this discussion.
"Camila," he said, pulling me away from my mother, "your mom and I think it’s time you see somebody." He hesitated for a moment out of guilt, but then looked at me very sternly. "This is getting out of hand. You need help that your mom and I just can’t give you."
"You want to send me away?" I gasped out of sheer horror. "You want to let people experiment on me?"
If I thought Lauren was tying my heart in knots, I was mistaken. I’d never felt pain like I did right then. I knew that my parents might be afraid after learning the truth about Vero, and I knew they would worry, but I never in a million years thought they would betray me.
"Of course not, Camila! I meant counseling. A psychiatrist. Not a scientist. Honey, how could you think we would ever?"
"Because I’m a murderer? I killed someone! Aren’t you scared of me?"
"You are not a murderer," my father argued.
After two straight days’ thinking about it, I knew this was true. Ever since my accident, I’d not only blamed myself for Vero’s death, but I’d always questioned whether or not I allowed it to happen. I was so mad at her that night. I hated her that night. Of course I didn’t fry her on purpose, but could I have stopped myself?
I wasn’t sure until the other night, but the answer is no. I couldn’t have stopped what I did to Vero. I knew that now. See, I wanted to kill Carter when he told me he was going to expose me to the world, and I could have, so easily, but I didn’t. Not because I didn’t want to, or even thought it would be wrong, but because I couldn’t. I didn’t have it in me to kill him. And I wouldn’t have had it in me to kill Vero either.
"I know," I said, forcing a sad smile to my mom and dad. "Vero’s death really was an accident. I understand that now. I don’t need a psychiatrist. Honest. I mean, what am I supposed to tell one anyway? That I’m messed up because I fried my girlfriend with my super-electric-girl powers?" My parents both opened their mouths to argue, but neither could come up with anything.
"Mom? Dad? No doctor is going to be able to understand what I’m going through. The only people that can do that are you guys. Well, and Lauren now. But don’t worry. With you here to help me, I’ll be fine. I’m already starting to feel better."
