Knowing Loki (FANFICTION)

Are you sure?

Loki and I entered his quarters. A room half the size of Hljóð's house, with a ceiling twice as high. One wall was lined to the roof with books, and another held a large desk containing papers, pens, and other stationary. Everything had a place. Everything had a purpose. The bathroom was a magnificent size as well. A large, circular tub sat in the middle, the floor tiled with gold trim. I remembered Loki using the Midgardian washroom at Hljóð's, which caused me to smile.

"Will you make yourself a bed?" Loki asked.

"Could I sleep in yours? I quite enjoyed having my own dreams."

"I will need to lock the door in case someone intrudes and assumes other intentions."

"Thank you."

"Think nothing of it. You will need rest for your fight."

"No, I only said that to avoid suspicion. A Midgardian should be tired after all I have done today and having not eaten in so long."

"You play this game well."

"Sif will be quite surprised tomorrow, I assure you. For you see, I learnt all my fighting from you."

Loki's eyes widened with realisation. "They will recognise your style."

"I have personalised it, do not worry. The only similarity shall be our love of knives."

He seemed unsure but knew he had no way of winning the argument.

He turned towards the bed, and quicker than the human eye could follow, he spun around and held a dagger to my neck, a smirk upon his face. "I nearly had you."

"I told you, I can handle Sif. I will have to go easy on her, as I am appearing human."
A blade protruded from my grasp, aimed at his upper stomach. "I know you were going easy on me. It was a kind gesture, but I know I would not stand a chance against you."

He seemed taken aback.

"Wait a moment, you were not?"

"I believe you underestimate your own abilities. Remember, your strength and agility are of a higher calibre than previously."

I nodded my head and smiled, proud of my achievement, until I felt something cold against my back.

"But your senses need heightening, or are you just easily distracted?"

"You are the only one that could distract me so well, and I believe it will be my downfall."

"For instance, what is stopping me from slitting your throat right now?" Temptation laced his tone.

"The knowledge that you would be locked away, left to fester on the fact I was the only one who could save your mother."

He was silent, the knife did not move.

"Yes, I know your intentions, that is why I allowed you that knowledge. You would have killed me or betrayed me by now if not for it. I am not so easily fooled when I do not wish to be."

"Why then have you gone to such lengths? Why go along with this charade?"

"Because it is nice to pretend it is real, to feel as though I am loved in a way I shall never truly know. I can have no other, and I can not have you. You know what I have endured, and what I am willing to do. That was not a lie. I let myself believe it, to the point I actually forget on occasion."

"What will you do once I am done with you?" He asked, the knife still pressing against my throat.

"I have only my mother and sister, so I will learn their ways and try to do something good for once."

"Surely what you are doing now is of good intentions?"

I could not help but laugh, causing the knife to cut my skin, I felt a few small drips of blood drop to my breast. "Of course it is not. You are not such a necessity. It would have been easier and safer to allow things to play out until much later in the game, then step in."

"You lie." His voice almost risked cracking as he whispered those words.

"I told you previously Loki, I do not lie to you. By stopping these tragedies to befall you, I have changed the timeline so much that I have little clue what will stay the same. I have endangered the universe purely to protect you for a short while and indulge my own fantasies."

"Only an imbecile would do such a thing. You could surely not be so foolish?" The knife was now about an inch from my skin.

"You overestimate me. I do not know how many times I have to tell you. If it concerns you, I can be the biggest fool that has been. I can walk blindly through fire just to see you one last time. I can not control my urge to help you, to love you. To want to kiss you until my breath leaves my body and my legs give way beneath me. I would let the world burn if it meant protecting you."

"You are an idiot. You are absolutely insane. You have no sense to speak of."

"And I do not care, so can we let this conversation end so that I may rest?"

The knife vanished. He turned and headed to the wardrobe to change.

I climbed onto the large, soft bed and stretched, then tucked my hands beneath my head. I closed my eyes and listened to the silence that filled the room.

Fabric brushing against leather broke it as Loki undressed. I felt an urge to look, but the memory from Hljóð's washroom kept my eyes closed.

His foot steps came close, then the squish of the mattress beside me. I acted as though I was already asleep, my breathing slow, my face completely relaxed.

"You should not trust me Heiðr, for it is in my nature to betray you, whether you deserve it or not."
He placed a kiss on my temple, then lay down beside me, his arms holding me close. "I will offer you this one kindness, though, if only as compensation for saving her."

I could barely breathe with his scent filling my lungs, entrancing me deeply. I stirred slightly to become more comfortable in his arms, though still appearing asleep.

"It was not supposed to be you!" Loki cried out through sudden streaking tears.

"You knew he would require proof." I smiled, sure the blood I tasted on my teeth was visible.

"Why? Why did you not break this curse? Why did you not listen to the others?"

"You are the fool now, dear, sweet Loki. You still do not understand. Nothing can stop my love for you. Nothing can make me hate you, not even this."
I clenched my soaked stomach tightly, biting back the pain and blood that wished to escape my mouth.

"Why? Why can you not give up on me? Why can you not allow me to die?"

"You know why, Loki. I do not have the strength to explain this again. Just promise me one thing."

"What is it?"

"Do not allow Thanos that pleasure. Do not let him win... I don't..."

He held me in his arms, holding me closer so that he could hear what I said.

"I do not want to die."

"You will not. I swear you will not."

"You always promise me what I can not have." I laughed, then coughed, feeling the blood run from my mouth to my chest.

"Please. Heiðr? Heiðr?" His voice called, I felt him shake me.