Life Of A Socially Awkward Girl

Chapter 16

We were at his house. It was quiet as if everyone were already fallen asleep. I guess it was about 1 AM so it was completely normal.

We quietly went to the kitchen to get glasses of water.

There was nothing to say but Blake looked worried.

I couldn't stop thinking about Logan and how disgusting he was to me now. He was nowhere near disgusting, I just felt so...-

I didn't know what I felt. I just felt. And I felt a lot.

I also thought about what Logan said. He said that Blake liked me. Really liked me, like it was obvious. And now I was looking at him and I could barely see it.

He looked worried.

But I would be worried as well if I saw him all pale and shaking.

But I was getting better. I had the smell of Blake on my mind so I could forget all the horrible stuff.

We still didn't say anything until we finished our glasses of water.

"Lucy?" Blake started.

"Yeah?" I put my glass in the dishwasher and closed it.

"It's nothing I just-" he stopped for a while putting his hand on the counter. "Why do you keep looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

I guess I knew what he was talking about but I wanted to hear if he had the same answer.

"Like- you're looking for something."

I didn't say anything because I was, in fact, looking for something. I was looking for that spark. That face that showed he really liked me. Just like Logan said.

"Lucy, what happened at that party?"

Once again I didn't answer.

"Did Logan do something to you?" he asked this steady and careful.

I looked at him and for a split second I could see it; the face. But I didn't know if it was real or simply my imagination.

"I'm just gonna go make myself ready for bed, I'm really tired," I said already turning away and rushing up stairs to the bathroom.

I was sad and uncomfortable in my own skin. It was too tight and didn't settle right.

But when I was halfway up he called.

"Just look for something in my closet to sleep in."

I didn't see him as he said that but I walked into his room which was not really that messy. The cover on his bed was tangled and there were some clothes on a chair but that was pretty much it.

I got a black T-shirt with a picture of a slice of watermelon because it seemed like the biggest one he had.

Then I walked into the bathroom and locked the door. I stripped everything off besides my underwear and put on the T-shirt. It reached just below my butt which I guess was okay.

I allowed myself to wipe off the make up with his mom's make up remover. Automatically I felt much better and recognized myself again. 

I looked at the clock on the wall and it said something about 45 minutes past 12.

My toes were cold so I wrinkled them up

I took some mouthwash from a shelf next to the mirror and washed my teeth. I also washed my face but with warm water.

I looked at myself in the mirror once again before going out of the bathroom.

I looked at my eyes which were a greenish- blue color now. They weren't evenly open and looked slightly big in the lighting. And I looked at the bags under my eyes and how dark they were compared to my pale face. I also looked at my lips which were still stained with my dark red lipstick.