Last Kiss [DISCONTINUED]

Chapter Nine: Not Alone.

                                                                   Chapter Nine: Not Alone

Dear Emerson,

 Today's the day.

To be more specific, today was the day that you left us. 

And I can still hardly believe it....

It's been what? ... Four years?

Four years since we all made our great escape.

Yet we aren't over it. Aren't over what happened years ago. Sometimes when I look at Blake I can see him trembling with his eyes closed tightly. And he's not the only one. I frequently have dreams about it.... Or flashes of the ordeals pass before my eyes. 

We will never be truly free from them.

I still don't let any guy get to close to me.

And the last time I tried it was Leon.... That didn't go well.

I still remember trying to hold back the trembles that threatened to escape my body as I wrapped  my arms around his waist and he drove me on his motorbike.

I hid it from him. 

I couldn't show it to him.

Even when those horrible men were chasing me I didn't pull it out and threaten any of them. Imagine how it would be if good ol' Vivanna De Chanel did that?

Yeah, our cover would be blown... So I couldn't even tell him.

Plus, Leon stopped talking to me months ago.... I don't think I can recreate whatever existed between us... Em, I'm so confused about my feelings towards him...I can't help but wonder where I have seen him before...And if he is truly somebody else...Different from the rest.But I guess I have to shove thoughts that concern him out of my mind, since today is the day you left us. In other words, the day Blake and I lost our hero.

And it was all my fault.

I'm really sorry Em. There's not a single day I go without regretting what I did. Not a single day goes when I don't feel my fingers tremble at the thought of that day.I'm sorry Em. I'm really sorry.I hope your happy wherever you are... I hope there's no one there to seize your happiness away from you.

Love you always,

Vivanna.

P.S- Today's also the anniversary of that horrible crash.

Vivanna sighed as she read her diary entry. It was never going to get better for them. She knew that.

Blake and her would forever be entangled with the events of the past.

She knew that.

But she hated knowing that. 

And she hated knowing that Emerson had left because of her.

She made him leave.

It was all her fault.

Vivanna sniffed as her nose stung and tears pricked up at the side of her eyes. She blinked them back and closed her eyes.

Crying was for the weak.

Something she couldn't risk being.

Something she could not afford being.