Weak !

Off the case

Trigger warning - suicide

Viola was sitting outside when I and Sheldon came out.

"You're off the case." She told him. I looked at him worried.

"Viola I.."

"You're too close to her." Dr. Viola says.

"I was just doing my job." He says.

"You're job is not to cry with the patient."

"Fine, then won't be close to her anymore." He says.

"You are off the case." Viola said one last time and started minding her own business.

"Sheldon., I'm.." I began.

"I need some time." Sheldon said leaving.

This was the first time I saw him burst out in anger and he said he needed some time. I hope he doesn't take too long, I thought.

The next day, I was in the activity room watching Portia. Sheldon didn't contact me after yesterday's incident.

I saw her sitting there all dreamy.

"What is she looking at?"I ask.

"She just stares at things, it's become a habit." Catherine told me.

"Do you think she would understand if I speak to her." I asked curious.

"Yes, she listens. She doesn't react though." Catherine explains.

I walk towards her kneeling in front of her wheel chair.

"Hey! Is there something you need?" I ask her.

I see her eyes still staring into the room. The nurse was writing notes on a paper.

"Can you give me a pen and paper???" I ask Catherine.

"Sure, Anna." Catherine says.

"I gave the pen and paper to Portia hoping she would write something to express her feelings. But, as soon as she held the pen in her hand she started crying." What have I done??!!!!

"Nurse!" I called out and she came running hearing Portia's loud cry.

The nurse was convincing her and to all our surprise, Portia spoke. For, the first time ever after I came here. I finally heard her speaking.

"They killed my child!!!!" She screamed in pain.

She was given some antidepressants and sleeping pills. The nurse took her back to her room.

"I'm sorry Catherine! I didn't mean to do that." I apologized.

"It's alright, Anna."

"I don't understand." I told her.

"Portia was a writer and she fell in love with her manager, Gerrard. They got married and soon had a girl child. One day, the little girl she was killed in a burglary gone wrong. Portia's husband blamed her for whatever happened and she became like this later." She finished.

"I got work to finish." She said leaving.

That day during the games, I saw Portia again. I talked to her about the whole incident and she listened to me very patiently.

When we were having the group talk session I kept looking at the people around me. They were afraid, they were sad, they had too many problems.

"Well then let's talk about Christmas. We are going to bring our talents out. Get ready with your performances." She says.

What seriously??! What age are we at??

"Is it a compulsion?" I ask.

"Of course, not. But, we all would like to perform don't we." Catherine says and they cheer. I really can't get them sometimes.

Sheldon didn't come to meet me for around three days, just like he mentioned. He needed time. But, today was Christmas Eve and I wanted him be here with me. It's not like I'm into these festival stuff, I just wanted to see him again. I was already missing him so much.

At the end of the group confession, Catherine called out to me.

"It's happy news Anna." She says smiling.

"Sheldon's back?!" I ask her.

"Umm.. no dear. Portia is getting discharged." She says.

"That's great." I said smiling at her. So, Sheldon isn't back.

The evening ended and there was no Sheldon. It was weekend and I wanted to spend sometime out of here, with him.

I ate my dinner in silence and went back to my room. I shouldn't overthink through this. He's just caught up with work, I said to myself.

The next Christmas morning everyone was getting ready for their performance.

Carla sang, Eddy was showing off his dance skills, Victor surprisingly was silent waiting for his chance and when it came he gave a big speech about superheroes and how they protect the world.

Jonathan performed a skit with the other nurses and attenders.

Obviously, I didn't perform.

Catherine talked about us and how much we've improved from our past selves.

When the program got over and everyone were congratulating each other, I joined the group hug for the first time. It was a big deal for me as I never do. I was blushing as everyone was staring at me because I had joined them. We laughed it out. I wanted to go back to my room.

I went back to my room. But, something was bothering me. So, I decided to check on Sheldon myself. I walked towards his desk and didn't find him. Maybe, he was with Viola , I thought. I was walking through the hallway when I saw what I should not have seen. I saw Sheldon and he was doing something which my eyes couldn't believe. He was kissing her, he was kissing Viola and they just went inside her room hand in hand smiling.

You worthless piece of shit. You think he cared for you. Not at all.

The voices were loud and clear. I went back to my room and sat there for a while. I couldn't believe my eyes. No wonder Viola had acted like she hates me all the time. The pieces of puzzles fit together. Sheldon and Viola are together.
It was like the clock was ticking. The sound was unbearable.

Do it, you know what to do.

A voice said. My brain was on haywire.

Tiktok tiktok ... You know what to do.

All the humiliation and uncertainty came at once. I walked towards the nurses station and waited there. She was on the phone.

Don't waste time. Do it.

I took a bottle of the medicines that were kept to be given to a patient and secretly hid it in my palm and walked by to my room.

Awesome, now do your thing. Nobody wants you.

I looked into to it and it was written as sleeping pills. I took the nearby water bottle and swallowed all of its contents. I sat there thinking what have I done.

Tiktok awesome job. Now just wait for it.

I slept, peacefully. After a long time. My eyes closed. Gary and Sheldon were laughing at me. I didn't care much. I could finally find my peace. I slept like there was no end to it. I would finally join my mother at the other end.