I sat down in front of him, I didn't plan on eating today. I would throw it straight back up if I did. My body was trembling. I tried to give him the smile he gave me back but I could only bite my lip and stare. He looked around before asking me, "what did you want to say?"
My eyes widened. That's right. I need to tell him my feelings. I puffed up my chest and straightened out my clothes. "Sicheng..." I pause. "I like you." Sweat seemed to start dropping off his forehead as soon as he heard my words, he looked across the cafeteria, at Ma'yu. He wasn't looking at me. He rarely did. I could feel my heart breaking.
"Xaoxi, I'm dating-" He started to say.
"I know. I know that. I'm just letting you know, so I can sleep at night." I cut him off. He only nods and gives a small smile.
"I'm sorry I don't feel the same way." I shake me head, I couldn't help but smile now. He's an angel.
"I just wanted you to know." I tell him. " Thank you for allowing me to feel something." He gives a nod. Thank you.
I stood. "Go ahead and sit with Ma'yu, I've got to go now." I told him, and started to walk away, to the roof again to thank Xiao Jun. He made me realize I was not myself. I wasn't Sicheng. I wasn't Ma'yu. If I ever wanted to be me, if I ever wanted to be someone elses, I would have to put effort into being me, I had to find my personality. I had opened my eyes now, to something so crucial even if it meant feeling heart broken for awhile.
At least I was heart broken because of Sicheng. The boy who stood behind a mask of innocence.
YOU ARE READING
innocence → sicheng ✔
Fanfic"you're not as innocent as I thought." in which dong sicheng is a whore in hiding. ㅡ completed. unedited ㅡ sexual themes (no smut), alcoholic themes, very poorly written 08-15-18
