Crashing. (A JSE×reader fanfic)

Bring Me Back To Life

   August 18th 5:42 p.m.

   The song flowing into your ears has been on repeat since you forced yourself to go home and change to go on a run. In hindsight though, you arent exactly sure how you had convinced yourself that you're up for that in the first place. Now all you're doing is lifelessly dragging yourself down a relativetly deserted sidewalk.

  You glance around on occassion, forcing yourself to make sure you havent forgone your destination in your far away mental state. You already feel drained and lifeless, and walking along in the heat only makes it worse.

  Your hand reaches out to your side, but instead of the firm expectant hand you reach for, you claps onto nothingness, sourly dragging it with you as you fold your arms across your front.

  Such a minute detail for you to miss more than anything; the way he constantly needed to touch you in some manner. Whether he'd trail his fingertips across your shoulderblades, or lay his hand on your thigh or knee, or lay his hand on your chest and neck when you'd lay in his lap. He always had a hand on your somewhere or somehow at every chance he got. Even after hours of arguing, when all had settled into silence, he'd find your figure in the darkness and clasp onto your hand, or on hip or waist. He seemed to need to touch you as much as you needed him to ground you to the Earth with it.

  In the start, everything he did made you float. It was no secret that you became addicted to the feeling the moment it first engulfed you. He was the only one in the world to make you feel that way for more than the fraction of a second that parkour gave you. But the more he made you float, the less that you would accomplish, getting high off the feeling of being with him made it a bit tough to find the motivation to do your typical routine, because nothing you did made you as happy as he did.

  So he found a way to ground you, while also supplying you with just enough to keep you going, by constantly keeping hold of you some how. Keeping your focus on the present while also tattooing a smile on your lips.

  It didnt seem one sided though. You often caught him fidgeting or fumbling with his hands when you werent there to occupy them. His urge to keep you within arms reach at all times comforted the both of you, and holy shit do you miss it.

  You sigh to yourself, watching your feet move one in front of the other like its a form of magic that they keep going. Continuously marching like a mission driven soldier. You let them carry you to the door of a small familiar flat.

   Climbing the few steps to come face to face with the door, you mindlessly knock with your still throbbing hand, but you dont aknowledge the dull pain that follows. What good would it do to hiss a breath in between your teeth and swear to the emptiness? Not a damn bit. You tug the earbuds out of the holes in your skull and wait patiently for a response to your knock.

  Bell swings the door open with a wide smile. "Sug! You didnt tell me you were gonna stop by today. I'd have cleaned the place for your visit!" She winks playfully at you, reaching down to take your hand and tug you inside. You force yourself not to react to the pain, but her eyes find the bruise held in her chocolate hands the moment you step through the threshold.

"What did you do now!? Oh Extra that looks painful..." Her voice dripped with apology as she instantly makes her touch light as a feather against yours. You draw your hand away placing it out of sight into your pocket, choosing to change the subject instead of explaining.

"I noticed you werent working today, so I just came here instead. I'm not intruding am I?" You ask, sure that she would chatise you for even thinking that you could intrude in her home.

  You've grown to know her quite well since you first began hanging out all those years ago. The two of you have had slumber parties together like highschool girls, gossiping about your boyfriend, or her (at the time) fiancé. You'd sit in a blanket fort and watch horror movie after horror movie, craming handfulls of popcorn into your cheeks throughout. Rich would allow the two of you your girl time, sleeping in the guest room on those nights. You tried to apologise to him for it once, but he told you the most touching thing;