Crashing. (A JSE×reader fanfic)

Awkward Apology

August 20th, 12:15 p.m.

  Your head throbs painfully as you lift it from the pillow, and your arms act like jello under your weight as you push yourself untill you're sitting upright in the bed. Opening your eyes proves to be a mistake, as the stabbing light causes the pain in your head to explode. You press the palms against your eyes, trying to block it all out.

"Oh god." You groan to yourself, feeling your stomach twist, threatening to abandon last nights meager meal and abundant alcohol. You cant help but wonder how Bell is doing, what with a baby for an alarm clock and all.

  Who else was with you again? Oh yeah Mark. He didnt drink though did he? You dont recall seeing a drink in his hand ever. But you do recall-....

"Oh god." You rake your hand through your hair but quickly draw it away, finding your hair a caked mass of tangles and hairspray.

  Wait, you didnt shower last night, does that mean...? You spin around quickly in the bed, searching for Mark next to you but thankfully finding no one. You let out a slow calming breath, recalling how he turned you down and walked you home.

  Catching sight of yourself as you glance down causes you to leap from bed and make your way to the shower, stripping along the way to distance yourself from last nights events. You cant handle thinking about it right now.

  You scrub at your skin and hair in the shower, desperate to remove any trace of your stupidity, watching the coloroful makeup swirl down the drain in nothing more than a brownish blur. You massage your sclap and comb through your hair untill it finally becomes silky and clean again.

  You take a moment to breathe as the water falls down your skin. You cant help but recall the first time Jack caught you in here. He stripped down eagerly and joined you. The two of you had a soap war in the start, but it quickly evolved into hot kisses and exploring hands. He lifted you onto his hips, carrying your dripping figures into the bedroom where he pinned you to the bed, holding your wrists above your head with one hand while the other explored the places that make you shiver.

  Snapping yourself back into the present, you shake away the thought and turn off the water, stepping out of it and wrapping a towel around yourself.

  You catch sight of yourself in the mirror and catch shame in your eyes. How could you throw yourself at Mark like that? How could your judgement have slipped so far? You know damn well that he would never think of you like that. Why couldnt you have just listened to your subconsious and not done anything? You sigh to yourself, pushing the thoughts away as much as possible.

  Making your way to the bedroom to change, you decide, while you want to apologise, you simply arent ready yet. You opt for a cropped hoody over a sports bra and a pair of jogging pants for the day, before slumping into your computer chair. The familiarity of the action actually manages to bring you a bit of comfort for a moment.

  You stare at the computer, lacking any motivation to edit and  upload any of the prerecorded video to youtube. So instead, you log in to your twitter account.

  Big fuckin mistake. Thousands upon thousands of tweets asked where you and Jack have disappeard to, seeing as neither of you have uploaded a video in days. Some of the tweets asked about a mysterious tweet that Jack had put up, peeking your curiousity. You hesistate slightly before clicking over to his profile, finding the most recent tweet from yesterday.

'Sorry for the lack of uploads, made a trip Home. Please be patient, I'll post an update video soon enough. Thank you all for understanding.'

  You lean back into your chair, rereading the tweet pointlessly. Home? Ireland? You swallow away a growing lump in your throat. You wonder why he hadnt directly told his fans about your breakup, but you choose not to look to deep into it, instead you scroll into the comments of the tweet, curious what everyone has to say about it.