living for christ

forgiveness

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

- Ephesians 4:32

What does it mean to forgive?

The dictionary definition is: to stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake.

Forgiveness is something I've struggled with greatly and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Whether it's about forgiving yourself or forgiving someone who has hurt you, it's difficult either way. For me, I've especially found it hard to forgive people who have hurt me.

During eighth grade, someone who I considered one of my friends ditched me. She came to school one day, and when I went up to talk to her, she walked right past me like I didn't exist. Just like that, we weren't friends anymore. It didn't help that she was badmouthing me and putting my best friend other in the middle. Slowly, my best friend started to drift away from me.

I didn't have a lot of friends in middle school, so the fact that my friend suddenly didn't want to be friends with anymore hurt me.

It hurt. It hurt a lot. It hurt so much to the point where I cried every day after coming home from school. I had thoughts that scare the living crud out of me now when I think about it because I was so, so close to caving in on myself.

After school ended, I eventually healed. I started hanging out with other people and because of that, I grew closer to someone and I now call her my best friend.

I still hadn't forgiven her, though. I was still hurt and extremely angry at her for leaving me when I needed her most.

Towards the end of the summer, I went on a church camp. On the second day, there was a service that was based around forgiveness and it especially struck a nerve in me because I was still struggling to forgive her. I couldn't do it. I just couldn't.

However, after the service, I could hear God saying, "it's time," and it was time. I had been carrying so much hate, anger, and bitterness around and I was done with it. Enough time had passed.

So, I forgave them. And I am telling you the complete truth when I say this--it felt as if a huge weight had been taken off my shoulders. I was finally at peace.

And let me tell you, it felt so, so good.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life."

- John 3:16

When we were sinners, God still loved us. He loved us so much that he came to Earth as a human to go through unimaginable pain so we wouldn't have to. He died so we could have eternal life.

During the service about forgiveness, I learned that Christians should be the first to offer forgiveness, despite how hard it is because God forgave us first.

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

- Colossians 3:13

I know that it's easier said than done. After someone hurts you, it's extremely difficult to find the compassion to say, "I forgive you." It will take time. It may take a week, a month, or a year.

Eventually, however, you will be able to forgive that person.

Obviously it will take more to learn to forgive, but I hope that in some way, this post has helped you. If you want to talk or have any prayer requests, please don't hesitate to pm me. I will be more than happy to listen or pray for you.